I have a fun personality. I grew up in a good environment during my childhood from grades K-8.
When people meet me in person, I am very social and put on a happy face …
My high school years were bad. That is where people form their groups. University was particularly bad. Absolutely no friends there. People are cruel at university and are unhelpful in my plight. A competitive bunch.
But the working world was great. This is where mature people play making money by being productive most of the time not worrying about differences.
The problem with me is that I had many years of schooling in high school and post-secondary which is mostly the bad ‘reality’ of competition. I spent over 24 years trying to earn my computer programming diploma basically from 1998 to 2022 now.
I knew deep down inside that I needed to think abstractly like a programmer to get away from the in-your-face brutal reality of society and grow. My dad pushed me to face reality back in 1998 and do healthcare thinking that is all that mattered to be proud and financially OK.
Retreating to the computer has helped me think around all this bad reality. It doesn’t help that I look Southeast Asian (Vietnamese). Only way to avoid it is to work abstractly for me I think.
I only had a good life when I was in elementary school. What made me happy then was being on the computer all day so that is where I am stuck it seems.
I need more working life time to overcome and change. Being in school all this time ain’t fun. Possibly working with other computer people will help me get out of this misery. Computer people are my people.