I keep doing things and growing because of the following reasons:

• Canada – I was born in Canada. So it is pretty obvious to try to attain the ‘Canadian dream’ regardless of your personal culture or issues. I just am taking longer and had some “learning experiences” along the way.
• I grew up in Ajax, Ontario, Canada and had some good classmates who pushed me to continue to study back in grade 13 OAC. At that point I wanted to give up. When I think of the present and see how much trouble if I don’t push, I just remember the past and realize to attain more education at least is the only thing that should matter here in Canada from the Canadian perspective like my classmates. Everything else that comes from education, just comes after. My Ajax classmates pushed me even in university. So I might as well focus on education here in Canada. I sometimes look at education negatively but if I get into the frame of mind of the ‘Canadian perspective’, education is all that should matter.
• My family back home in Vietnam expect the full “Western Education Experience” from me. They are always puzzled why I don’t have all the degrees and experiences like other Vietnamese they hear about in the good news reports.
• The Canadian perspective is all good, but I am still Vietnamese. I am trying to understand and balance and create my own understanding the two cultures while trying to navigate the mosaic landscape. I am learning from the other perspectives and trying to add something to show and say that may have value and is unique. Don’t we all want to show something about us that is special and unique?
• Doing what I love all day before which was computers, art and programming became stagnant. Doing more and growing older made me want to do more as it was very rewarding and unique. Working with Ben Cybulski is such an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work differently. I am understanding that working with Ben Cybulski is the goal. Working together we can develop all different things.
• I finally made connections with other Vietnamese born in Canada. It has cemented me. There is an actual Vietnamese-Canadian experience I learned and now I have a baseline finally after 37 years not interacting with Vietnamese born here in Canada. It has brought me stability and somewhere to launch from if I want.
• I could continue doing the things I like personally in my own world. But I am doing these things with my friends. Hmmmm … I think it is best to just work with the same frequency friends for life and grow together. That way you don’t think negative or have any unnecessary drama in your life and at work. I only got stuff done with same frequency friends for support and for work.
• I earned an IT certificate when I was 14 years old a long time ago and was published in a well-known computer newspaper in the Greater Toronto Area here in Canada: WeCompute. I liked computers and wanted to work at the age of 14 to be a man and make some money. I am old now and it would be such a waste I think to drop everything and not do something and more in this field. Being somewhat accomplished at a young age is good and bad. You get the feeling you are done and can continue doing that IT certificate field. But there is a part of you where you want to strive for more. I had to work really hard and change my mindset to strive for more. I could have just rested on doing that IT certificate full time for the rest of my life and hopefully be really good at it. But you get older and things can change.
• My mom said when she was pregnant with me that I was going to be doing computers. All I feel is that I can do computers. My mom used to watch computer news and TV and learned about computers when she was pregnant. She even learned some programming.
• I stopped for a bit after university and realized that life would be such a waste if I did not do more for myself and my parents and being born in Canada. My parents are boat people refugees from the Vietnam War. I should be concentrating doing more I guess to grow and develop and also provide something of good value and meaning. I need to grow for myself too. For me after reaching 35 years old, there was nothing left I felt, so I continue to find more meaning and grow old further in adulthood.
• First real job (2006), after university (2010), generally working (2016) and even now (2024), the stereotype of Vietnamese is not that good from my experiences. When people know I am Vietnamese, the tone changes from positive to bad 😂! I am working on myself mostly to not be treated poorly based on my ethnic background alone. The outside real world is harsh for me even in 2024 😂! Even me at middle-age it is still bad 49 years after the Vietnam War. I am turning 40 this year in 2024. Thank God I live in Canada and no one really cares that much about race as most people are too busy with their own lives in capitalistic Canada when working outside. I can continue to do what I want in the comfort of my own space to improve myself and work with like-minded people. However, when outside people do criticize, it is so bad 😂! I just got to close them off and continue working with my friends.
• I am feeling really old at 39 years old today (Feb 3, 2024). I am half way done my life. There is this feeling and urgent call to just focus on yourself to grow and develop as time has now past half way and you have to look forward to the future to build substance of great meaning to you and society.
• Doing all these things for the past 4 decades was a great benefit both mentally and socially. So I will continue.
• “Other people” are “very, very opinionated” … I have to avoid them completely and do my own thing to get away from other people who are so … “negative” … . I got to get away from “other people’s” thinking and their projections which don’t cast a good positive light.
• I got to evolve and break all odds and stereotypes. I need my freedom! I think I am making a difference so far.
• My parents and family did not understand the logic/maths/programming learning curve/hurdle. It required me 26+ years to obtain the skills to feel confident and able.
• I like to think “Vietnamese Saigonese Productive”. It is fun and so productive. I have a friend named Tan Vu (John) from Saigon. When I wanted to give up programming at school, he taught me how he thinks and does things as a programmer from Vietnam. That fixed and helped me. There are actual different perspectives and feelings I learned. I adopted his ways and can power through now whenever I am feeling lost and want to give up programming. I just change my frame of mind to his. So that means it is good to socialize with your homeland to understand yourself and your people. Not everyone is the same and there is a whole world of different cultures and perspectives you can learn from. Diversity is good for me then. I can not just accept the way and methods I grew up with. I needed to learn the variety of different thinking patterns from around the world.
• To entertain within my group (Vietnamese, Vietnamese-Canadians), I have to grow and do something different and new. Trying to entertain fellow Vietnamese is such a driving force to continue.
• My parents way is the only way to live, survive and have a family I think for me. It is Vietnamese and very, very, very liberal and pushy. If I live a different way or in someone else’s culture I can not function. I can not think in other people’s cultures. It just doesn’t work? Multiculturalism accepted?
• Middle-age forces you to think like a man and attain all the skills and experiences in life.
• I am Vietnamese so I have to figure my way around everything to live a stress-free highly skilled life these days in the modern world. That requires years and years of study and doing my own thing my way to build unique skills. But luckily I live in Canada and can take my time and forge my own way and path without worry really. I am lucky to be born in Canada.
• You have to be smart. You have to be smart for your kids one day and answer all their questions and guide them if you need.
• You have to be smart and forward to talk to other Vietnamese-Canadians. Being Vietnamese born in Canada I have to be smart to get along with other Vietnamese-Canadians because Vietnamese-Canadians are trying to do the “Canadian Dream” and reach for the stars. How else am I going to get along with my fellow Vietnamese-Canadians? It is more and more and capitalist???
• I have a friend currently in school. He is doing higher studies. He told me as a Vietnamese-Canadian himself all he has is his studies and interests. There is nothing else in the world that matters. He was born in Barrie, Ontario, Canada and told me it is just himself and his interests and studies and work after. That is how he will survive in Canada for himself. Just himself. The interests will give him everything he needs.
• You got to do what you want or else you don’t get healthy, behave masculine and won’t have a relationships.
• I got to do what I want to avoid people who have that culture or character trait to control and bother other people. I am Vietnamese and am very Western so everything I do is pretty independent. It have to be me to function. I got to be free. I do not want to be heavily influenced. I have to avoid certain people. That is all really. It might sound not nice but the reality some people or groups of people don’t understand independence and freedom.
• When I socialize with Vietnamese born in Canada, they are very, very, very independent. It scares me that I am not as independent as them. I am forced to reconsider my stance on group thinking and independence.
• I am slowly realizing that I was not independent growing up and the people who criticized me are nationalistic and have group mentality causing me to think I have to follow and be subdued.
• Seems like if I am not chasing more bigger goals all the time I can not have a relationship. I want a wife and family.
• The Vietnamese way of achieving and goal setting is different from other nationalities. I have a different core drive that is Vietnamese. Personally I like aspiring for more for myself.
• I am thinking differently today (Feb 23, 2024). Teaching for me I realize is just money to live. Same as working in healthcare. I actually want to sit there the ponder and think and build with the knowledge and experiences I accumulate. I got old real quick after finishing school finally and reflecting for about a year (Finished in April 2023). I am my own person now. Still growing and learning but I want to do the things I want now without the headache of people. What do you think about at your old age? It was so much fun living outside the body and to develop the software tools for the past 4 years. There was nothing greater that gave me so much enjoyment. Maybe teaching that to my students will be what I need to teach. Is it about the massive education and skills you amassed? It was then, but it became more what you want to do all day at old age turning over the leaf from superficial 1-dimensional to doing creations outside your body.
• It is about the idea. I love to develop fun tools. That is what I want to do all day still. It takes a lot of doing things and experiences.
• Old now and all you have now is your alone time doing what you love and enjoy. I understand human nature I think and it is time to enjoy your own life. Your body becomes a old vessel. Now all you have left is what you enjoy doing with your interests and mind.
• I dislike interacting with the young crowd that inserts their culture and ego into everything. I had to mature really fast to avoid working in egotistical capitalistic society and focus on building skills to do what I wanted alone.
• You can not think egotistical and with people all day. You must focus on yourself after you attained most of the skills and understanding outside in the world.
• You must live with your cultural values or there is nothing at all really. If you don’t you miss out. You won’t have a family without your homeland personalized culture maybe.
• Finding out that life is just about taking care of yourself more and more. You can interact but at the end of the day you only have yourself. This is what I learned socializing with Vietnamese more and more.
• There is a handful of people that I am trying to impress on this planet and they welcome the pursuit … I might as well try because of my situation and circumstance here in Canada. Fun, humanely and forward, I think everyone has a group of people that they want to impress here in Canada 😊. This is my main motivation.
• Instead of just slotting in there, everyone should have that feeling and need to grow into a handsome strong intelligent person. This way will command respect and life would be easier. This is especially needed at middle-age. You are no longer superficial and you need to be mature, healthy and intelligent.
• I need to enjoy doing stuff for myself. I got to take care of myself.

At the end of the day beyond all of this, if you put your frame of mind ‘elsewhere’, it is just education. The ‘Canadian education frame of mind’ is nice and fulfilling if you keep in that frame of thought.