I have been vegan for a while now and have been stable.
But I have been reluctant to create more stuff after doing what I wanted.
I feel unexcited to do more.
I am doing my passions but it is getting to a point where I am not feeling it any more.
Hmmm … I think I need to rest and reflect.
I think I am reaching a point where I am doing what I love. And I have been doing it for so long that now I don’t hate it but just do it. Bear it. Bear the stress of my work.
We all have a personality. We can or can not be so critical and analytical. We must be ourselves.
I think I need something different too now.
Found the solution … I ate some eggs and feel a bit better.
Being mostly vegan for the past two weeks has made me the way I was above I think.
I was doing not much. I was just able to do school work and pretty much nothing else.
Now I understand the vegan diet.
Eating meat made me angry and have ups and downs. I was doing more when I was eating meat.
I have gained weight … which isn’t good while eating vegetarian/vegan.
I will try eggs and milk and be vegetarian now I think.
I have always been trying to be mindful.
At my age, that is all I have.
I understand that I am older and must do things to change certain things about my living situation.
Being mindful has been helpful for my health and my study and work.
What else is there than to be mindful? If you don’t it is just plain misery.
I realize I am out of my comfort zone and now have this blog to explore a new lifestyle of a computer programmer to just think abstractly building software programs to fine-tune/tweak computers which is a really fun activity for me. ‘Tweaking’ computers doesn’t involve people, culture or race. It is pure objective bliss. Nothing else comes close to this fun.
To live a complete new lifestyle is challenging and is an out of body experience.
I am just a computer technician at my core and am now “growing old” wanting to think differently because I have some white hairs and wrinkles now. I look and feel old. I try to avoid thinking old and did computer programming to stop the old aging thinking processes.
Computer programming is a dream of mine to do too but I only like it 40%. Having 40% interest is good enough to do it I think. Any lower interest I would not bother.
I had only 30% interest in my biology and biochemistry degree so that is why I stopped doing it.
I can have more joy doing what I am doing right now which I crave.