It is the final countdown at college (Dec 4, 2021).

Next semester, the final semester of the 2-year diploma, is supposed to be easier than the previous. It is just a lot of more work and I think more analytical? No hard new concepts I was told.

I am just doing 3 courses this semester that I missed in the first semester (DCOM, MATH and some Elective). 

DCOM, data communications, is alright. I learned some of this before when I did my IT certifications many years ago.

MATH surprised me. I thought it would be only binary systems but there are many concepts we looked over and we are still not done.

I am thinking the final semester will be enough for me. I am not planning to do a 3rd year or bridge to university.

But after doing some MATH, I am surprised how much there is. 

Computer Science in university sounds like uncharted territory for me. Do you really learn all that much from a 2-year Computer Programming diploma in college?

I am thinking you can just go online and Google the other concepts when given a problem working in the real world. And with your problem solving skills create a solution.

But what is the ‘given problem’? Is that your personal problem or a problem working for a company?

I am thinking more and more about MATH and how much work it was for me to understand the concepts. This made me think about PHYSICS.

I thought I could go without doing much MATH but experiencing the hardships when doing it surprised me. ‘MATH for IT’ is different from Calculus I took in university. It opened my mind to think in logic gates and sets.

It is getting physical it seems. I am hitting boundaries.

I currently program OK I guess. I am using functions and classes. My code could be more efficient.

I should limit things to be more lean to get more speed and less redundant code.

I have not worked in a company creating a team solution. Am I missing that experience? Are their new concepts not found online Googleable stored away with the company library? Are there any ‘secrets’ working in a company that is worthwhile to know?

Currently, I am creating personal things. I Google for things and find most things I need. I am building what I enjoy and taking my sweet time.

The concept of MATH and PHYSICS is compelling.

Engineers like Elon Musk studied Physics in university and can build everything.

So studying Physics seems to be the way to build just about everything including better software.

Currently, I just code college level. I am not heavily thinking about more. I have not reached that far yet???

Anyways, I am just enjoying life doing what I want. I can not just study MATH, PHYSICS and COMP SCI for the sake of it right unless I have a personal goal at the end. It will take time until I need of those subjects.

MATH – I need it!

I was not able to pursue computers when I was younger.

My dad stopped me from doing more computing at age 14. He wanted me to do Life Science and become a doctor.

Only in 2017, I was able to come back to computers and learned the following things.

  • Everyone needs MATH because it helps you mature and see things logically
  • Eventually you arrive thinking MATH is important after completing your passions\interests
  • MATH is needed to grow into an adult

In 2017, I started working in the computer repair store, doing graphic design, doing web design, and finally doing computer programming. Only in Fall 2021, I did the required MATH course for my diploma.

The more I do MATH I feel at peace and feel like I am learning and growing.

Programming knowledge is found online I feel. You can Google for help without much difficulty. But MATH requires practice and actual hard work to understand it all.

I just need MATH, any form of it. I must study more MATH. I need it. I don’t need anything else.

MATH gives you emotional intelligence. I suffer from anxiety and studying MATH helped relieve that.

MATH 2 – The Dilemma

Like I am pretty happy programming away.

Previously, before this semester and maybe at the beginning of this semester, my days were very good.

I had time to do the things I liked. About 40% of my time was programming while 60% of my time was doing things I enjoyed.

I enjoyed things like getting coffee at Tim Horton’s or McDonald’s, getting some exercise by walking at parks, eating Domino’s pizza, making my own pita pizzas and socializing about things on Discord.

Doing any more work, I lose my routine.

What are my next steps in life?

  1. If I do MATH it is grueling. The gains are massive. Math is everything.
  2. If I do Teaching in high school it is a complete lifestyle change to nurture others. When will I have time to do the things I want to grow personally?

I have some good news. I was recently published in a Vietnamese Tech website and Facebook post.

  2. Điện Máy Xanh

I am programming away and got recognized by my ancestral home country.

All that is here in this world is … Education

I used to think in terms of fun activities.

As I get older, I realize all I can think about is learning about more.

Learning about different things and different perspectives.

I relaxed and reflected enough …

Time to get to learn things myself … No waiting around expecting others to teach me everything.

Don’t expect to get help.


Everyone will learn in time.

I learned that I must learn things for myself to broaden my mind and give enough room and time to learn everything to fill my headspace so I don’t feel lost or empty or at a loss. I must lead my life.

It may get to the point where you need to get something out of every situation really or at least equal division.

There is no room for hierarchy or class structure when you get to my age.

Just living to learn.

Everything else seems to have controls and limits and boundaries where you can not trespass. This is especially true when you are young and are so sensitive.

Can not live superficially either.

I have a Consul (ESFJ) personality type naturally but now it is getting to a point where this personality is a problem for me and I must live for myself. I must do things for myself without being so sensitive and worried about things around me. You can not control anyone really. You can only control yourself (your response and actions).

Live for yourself to learn so you stay healthy and grow. Everyone needs growth.

You can look at life simply to just learn, learn and learn. It can be sooooo… one-dimensional like that. By choosing it to be one-dimensional maybe all you need to live in all this chaos. Just look at everything like something to learn.

It is so easy to be caught up in the emotions outside everyday. But those outside emotions can be harmful if not controlled or set aside or ignored. Most emotions are immature and take time to learn from.

Continuing Education as an Older Adult

I knew deep down inside I needed to keep learning.

I did not realize how important it was until I did the last course at Durham College “WEBD 4201 – Web Development Enterprise”.

It taught me 2 important things:

  • Integrate Front End, Back End, and Database technologies
  • Art and Personability. I am learning to become social now and express it now through web development/design.

That is the missing piece in my life. Being able to socialize and express oneself through a medium like modern dynamic web development.

My problem all these years was to self-express myself. Self-expression was the key.

Everyone needs to express themselves or they get sick and bottled up.

If you are in a bad environment where you can not feel free to grow and develop and express yourself then that is the wrong environment and you must find a way either through finding a better environment or finding a medium to do it.

I found it online in web development it seems.

After School

Even after finishing 2 post-secondary “papers”, things will always be the same it seems. I thought things will change but nothing really changed I found out almost a week after basically finishing school. Today is April 10, 2023. I had my final test April 5, 2023.

I just became more broader, more skillful and can handle more stress now in work mainly. Also I got older now with a handful of white hairs.

I learned the same type of people will like you while others criticize you. So just treat everyone equally while maintaining your health.

Only my close friends understand what I am doing.

I do what I do to maintain my health.

David Phong Tan Nguyen

I knew what to do since I was in kindergarten to maintain my health and be happy living here in Canada. My homeland country Vietnam is not like Canada yet.

Some people can not see what I am doing is good for me because they can not look at the world big picture from my perspective.

Isn’t “your health” top priority? What should you do to maintain “your optimum health”?

My health to me is most important. To maintain my health is to continue doing what I want in my perspective trying my best to disregard the superficial/artificial things in life because god damn I am 39 years old now. It was about time to finish school to find work now. I am getting old.

Routine and Growth

My close friend network is good but I think I need a wider friend group for further growth.

School for the last 5 years (since 2019) was good.

It gave me routine.

Without routine I would be a mess I think.

Therefore I need school.

The niche I am in is small and maybe limited.

Only through professional work and school can I grow I think in different ways other than just personal individual growth.

School is needed I guess if you can not figure out things on your own yet.

Reflect on Schooling

Schooling helped a lot.

I learned more about my field. I learned about the people in school. I learned about the teachers. I learned what to do.

It also have me health and confidence.

It was very difficult to finally come back to school in person after the COVID pandemic.

I felt very uncomfortable being in class.

But after finishing the last test on April 5, 2023, I realized it is good to go in person to get the basic social interaction.

I am not sure if the school environment is the best place to learn after finishing school.

You could go to work now and try to do something in the workforce or try to do something on your own.

There are positives and negatives for both.

Regardless I realized how much EDUCATION is worthwhile as an middle-aged man.

I got lots of confidence and health. I feel good and look better.

I suppose it is worthwhile to continue education as it has those positives while I am still “youngish”?

Basically I hear that education never stops. Everyone is in the same situation as you. I just have 2 post-secondary ‘papers’ now to show I can do something. That is some confidence.

Also I heard the top medical professionals finally finish school in their late 30s or early 40s. So what am I really missing? Educate yourself and experience everything you want till you feel comfortable to do something …

Again you have to realize everyone is on the same boat. I did not realize what everyone else was doing until I finished what I wanted this year. I have to keep reminding myself that everyone is on the same wavelength really. Nothing is certain. We are all trying to figure life out one day at a time.

Also I figured out you must still find people as hungry as you and open minded as you and stick with them.


I am not sure if this is appropriate to say but after almost finishing school with 90% of my marks back, I realize my parents were right, you should be educated to a point where you can almost do anything you want without much stress.

It is an uphill battle doing school for me to gain enough knowledge. I wanted to quit so many times.

I studied enough computer programming now to do most software development activities I think.

If you can and live in Canada, I think you should try to study what you want and how much you want till you feel comfortable as you can get loans from the government to take things easy to learn. I feel 80-90% comfortable now.

I feel now with the skills I have, I should continue to use my skills to do work in this field. Everything else seems not worthwhile or not exciting no more to do. Everything else seems not thrilling and cumbersome to do.

No one really taught me this. My parents kept pushing me to keep studying until I became locked in to use my brain.

It is a scary world out there where people don’t tell you this. Once you learned enough ‘engineering skills’ you just keep on developing things. This was the case for me.

I had the opportunity to do this here in Canada. I am very lucky.

Now I can help my family to realize this and help them if they need to have these skills here or back home.

Meaning of School

What is being taught now these days in the modern world is to do what you like and enjoy life.

I realized the meaning of life now at the age of 39 years old that the meaning of life is school “maybe”.

I don’t have a wife. I don’t have a girlfriend. I don’t have kids. I don’t have a pet really.

My friend Ben Cybulski told me 6 months ago (like around Nov 2022) that life is to enjoy and do things yourself.

I did not fully grasp that until now.

What are we born to do here in the world? What are you supposed to do here in Canada? What are you supposed to do when you are alone? What are you supposed to do when you get really old?

Learn about this and that I guess. Seems like the only thing to do after all this is to be preoccupied in your thoughts learning about things around you and what you find interesting and learning about things to help you live a good life.

Almost everyone has a brain. Humans were born to think, right?

School was made teach you enough to mainly work. I can work finally now.

Getting it Right

Life can go 3 routes I feel:

  1. Being so comfortable in yourself that you obtain what you want
  2. Do something for money
  3. Finally do something you want and need to see the world from your perspective

Life can go these ways for me.

I realized that after doing what I want and need I can see the world through my eyes and be content alone.

I can focus on doing what makes me.

Education in what I was doing was the way through the lens of computer programming.

My mother thought about computers when she was pregnant with me. So following in her ideas are the only pathway. She wanted me to just follow my wants and needs. And now I am doing what I love and using these skills to apply to other areas from my viewpoint.

Everything is math at the end. Being logical and in control will build a future that isn’t too emotional.

After School

After being done school, reflecting and venturing out in the world, the only thing you have left is to keep learning. That is all.

I ventured out in the world and saw horrible things when I was treated dumb and hostility when I was educated.

At the end you retreat to your “home” learning because the outside world has this duality.

It is better being educated than not.

Took me a while to understand this. I only understood when I gave myself the chance to do what I want and learn here in Canada.

“Home” is where you are safe and can learn on your own however long it takes comfortably without any interference. It is too hostile outside if you are not educated.

When people get older they see that and allow people to learn and grow.

It is the young and people sometimes in the school system that has this competition and rivalry. And sometimes outside as adults as well.