Programming more and more looks bleak?

After studying this far in programming it looks like a bottomless pit of 0’s and 1’s if I look at it negatively.

I think I have a problem?

I don’t actually want to get disciplined and stable learning programming the school standard way.

But rather just want to do things I want and zone out.

Every man needs to maximize out all their skills. This is especially true at middle-age.

I guess I will somehow learn the things I need, doing things my way and forging my own path.