It took a lot of work to finally feel that what I am doing for myself is worthwhile. Life is “deep” now.
I am creating software that I like to do that reflects me. I am writing articles that matter to me. I am voicing my concerns. And I believe my experiences and unique voice adds to the niche/space that I am in.
I am finally tailoring to myself and helping myself. No longer am I just feeling empty and always giving myself away and looking for quick dopamine fixes to make myself feel good about myself.
I am working with lots of people and learning how to "live" from all my interactions and experiences working with people in my niche/space. I am finally "living" now.
I am working on myself to keep myself nurtured and happy by doing the things that I want in my own time and place alone.
Doing things in my niche has given me so much joy and fulfillment. I just create what I feel like with my friends.
What I mean is that I am working on stuff that is more enthralling than anything else in the world. It keeps me busy. It is more concentrated and deep rooted to build software and materials that matter to me.
It is a seed that powers me. No longer am I always seeking help or guidance. I am doing what I want and feel and that propels me to learn more and do more on my own.
I used to think that education in schools I would find the way but I realize after so much schooling that what I like doing goes beyond the classroom now. What I am doing feels bigger than what school can now provide for me as what I am doing really matters to me mainly.
Doing what I am doing funnels and leads me to learning on my way and own terms.
What fulfills me is doing my programming and writing everyday. It fills the need instead of going outside and trying to look for answers. All the answers and solutions to my soul comes from my niche.
I kept digging and digging and now am self propelled.
I am at the stage where no institution or group can provide me individual help or satisfaction as I am older now and experienced. I must live on my own terms.
When I work on things that I really want, things are just so right. Great feelings!