How I got focused

I volunteered basically …

I volunteered in the real world in my local hometown.

Volunteered in the kitchen in seniors center

Volunteered in the Cancer Center to prepare for practical nursing school.

Pledge to wipe snot and care for people before me for the rest of my life.

I basically gave my life up.

…

Became selfless.

Became neutral.

A little effeminate by giving up my life to God and helping those sick and in need in my hometown.

Nothing phases me and I can easily give up my life away.

This giving up allows you to lay almost lifeless there to absorb and learn.

But then you are no long gasing everything masculine style.

When confronted you bend as you fought for yourself and gave up yourself to the sick and needy.