Fixes

These are fixes to solve problems growing up born Vietnamese in Canada for me who lived outside the Vietnamese community at first … From 1984 to 2021, I lived outside the Vietnamese community in Toronto and only got fixed when I finally did stuff and came back to the Vietnamese community in Toronto in 2021.

Low self-esteem	Do what you like at home: study until you get something, find genuine friends to work with in your field outside in the real world, then connect with other Vietnamese to see that life is actually cultural and there are Vietnamese supports in life.
Can not to much after university/college	It will take about 10+ years after university to do something truly significant that is recognized worldly. I did not start when I was 9 years old and did not have Vietnamese support throughout life so things took too long. Took me from 2009 to 2021 to get established after university.
How to live normally with ‘Canadians’	After you grow a brain by doing your thing and have Vietnamese community understanding and support, you kind of ‘whatever’. Just get along with ‘Canadians’ and enjoy the work and lifestyle. Fighting for your rights and inclusion is kind of meaningless at this point. As long as you have grown to have a brain by doing your thing and learned about your Vietnamese culture AND learning life was all about studying all the time, you can appreciate and learn and work together alongside with ‘Canadians’.
What was the trick to getting smart and getting along with everyone?	From 2012 – 2021, I knew life was to be so technical like Westerners to live in the West. There is part in life where it is externally validated with independent specialized intelligence. I started from designing graphics in 2013, to build basic websites, technical writing, studying programming, doing my own software and team software and finally web development in 2024. To live healthy and pain free is to be soooo technical like Westerners. Learning to code your personal stuff to building web stuff is the lengthy journey into health and adaptability in the West. Also taking 3 years to zone, zone, zone out so far after to build your own personal/team projects that it becomes so unique and different on its own. It is being so technical and to solve your life story.
How to solve any mental health issue?	If you are born in Canada and have the means, it is really to study logical stuff: coding, physics and math. You got to build until you have enough. Disappear for 3-5 years studying logics and you will have the answer to anything. Then you can live balanced between 2 worlds. The emotional messy one and the technical logical one that is forward. Most mental health issues is because of treatment you get in society. How you feel. Your placement in the world. Being technical and always busy fixes it. Who are you and who are your people on the world stage. You have to be technical sometimes.
Is your homeland culture needed?	Yes, women from your culture understand the differences between SouthEast and the West usually from an early age. You won’t understand the opposite gender until you learned about your history. You have to learn and grow your SouthEast cultural side and make something out of it to see the limits and dynamics of it in the world. Then you can live normally after knowing your culture and world history and the West. Learning your culture will give you understanding why you live and act the way you do and where your people fall into the world dynamics. All your problems and peoples problems is found in world geo politics.
How to solve issues of inadequacy?	Solve problems and do things you like without the worry of anything. For example, with software the powerful medium, I can address problems I find on the world market and my personal issues growing up. It took a lot of time though to finally address the issues. I had to learn the skills necessary to do the things I want. It will grow you. Grow you overall. Once you specialized that is it really. You have a brain and things to show. Then people recognize and respect and learn to do the same as you instead of being negative towards you. Human nature is to respect the very specialized.
When is enough?	Working and growing for yourself has a limit. Coding goes so far that it become polar and one-sided and ‘bad’. Like you are squeezing too much. Therefore, after you had your fill you live a normal life. Like opening a store/restaurant or working trades I think and keep constantly busy. Work OK and have a life. You find people and value people based on that. Not the social media and not the fame no more. You still have to be smart but don’t code when it feels bad. Just be smart and adaptable with your coding brain and don’t build, build, build no more. Maybe to do a simple job at the hospital. Building too much become sickly as it feels bad.
How about the culture here in Canada?	If you want a family, you got to work with the people that work. Life is about having a family. Don’t get that screwed up. At the end of your 35 years, you got to figure out how to make a family of your own by working somehow. First address your inadequacies first and don’t bother with the cultures that prevent you from having a family. If you find yourself stuck then move back to your homeland???
What can you do with the negative stereotypes in Western society about your people?	Learn where the negative stereotypes come from exactly. Who is responsible for it? What factors made it? It should not affect you if you understand the source.
What career/jobs are for me?	In a multicultural society like Canada, everyone has to get along. Sometimes the stereotypical jobs and careers match and you live OK or maybe nice. Sometimes you just do what you like till you retire. Or compromise somehow. At the end you need to have money and make a family of your own.
What is the trick to getting along with the top people in the West?	Study and study and study and do stuff until you produce something that is recognized worldly. I programmed and programmed until I got published and recognized. I addressed my problems and a world problem. That is the key. There are still problems out there to be solved. Solve yours first. Then zone out for years to solve a world problem and then you got it.
When to get into a relationship?	When you meet someone who shows you everything wrong with you from 1 mile ahead above. So you get it what to do??? for a life in the West.

All of this should be along-the-way intuitive. As you grow and grow, you figure out the way to address your problems as you live and work and grow in Canada. Nothing is clear. Nothing is clear, cut and dry.

All of this sounds like a lot. I am 41 years old in 2025. It took me that long. Some people grow faster than others. I did not connect earlier with other Vietnamese like me so that is why. But I still got something good because I tried hard.

It is basically all growth that is logical: math and external validation and solving your own personal issues for ego and recognition/fame all basically alone as an individual unique man alone in the world.

The biggest problem with me was having this duality of being born in the West while forgetting the Vietnamese community like having two worlds sometimes live opposite to each other. But at the end it was just learning, learning and learning until you got a brain to think and work with Westerners without feeling odd. The trick is to learn so much that you can stand on your own calmly and open with Westerners.

You might even have ideas worth sharing with ‘Canadians’ if you venture so far out addressing your problems and inadequacies. For example, I developed some software that is unique.

All of this stuff on the blog is written somewhere in a book really or on some guys YouTube videos. For example this guy explains it the Western way.

Everyone has a story. Your family is different from others. Where you live is different. The problems you have growing up is different. Growing up is different for everyone. If you don’t address your personal struggle then you won’t have anything. You won’t have a brain, you won’t have the courage, you won’t have the ego, you won’t have the recognition. You won’t have the peace after.

I addressed and told my story my way.

But the reality is you got to be somehow logical and technical to solve everyday life like Westerners to live in this modern world.

But that is the trick. The simple trick. You can go about complaining and wanting inclusion. But if you are quick and notice, it was all logic and technical. Being technically advanced in society solved basically all my problems. And I got that from coding.