Updates (August 19, 2025)
What I learned …
I was so bothered by going to work and seeing immigrants just push in 2016. I am a 2nd generation with both parents born overseas. The area at the time started growing in the immigrant population.
They compared me, scolded me and helped me. That is the funny thing. Different people either helped or degraded me.
Nothing made sense then in 2016 while working so I stopped and went back to school in 2017 to fix???
In 2016, I was just working and living life … I was living ‘normal’? Was I living normal?
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What I learned from 2025 now is that things are personal, cultural and complex and unique.
Life can be unique and complex if you really dig deep and do your hobby and drive your personal story. Solving your childhood problems …
Life can be cultural 100%.
Before I met Tammy Nguyen, I thought I was just another Asian born in Canada just acting Asian-Canadian.
Then when we socialized, there were no layers between us. I was Vietnamese and doing my thing for myself and my family and she also in Ontario, Canada. Both 2nd generation Vietnamese with both parents born overseas.
The world tried to define us and place us in low boxes. But the reality between other Vietnamese born in the West is that we do have something. We are who we are with each other with no other groups defining us.
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Vietnamese from Vietnam tried to define me in 2017 and onwards.
Over the 8 years in the country, I grew with them and apart from them.
I am in and out at the same time.
The more they teach me their ways, I grew and tried to do something my way and develop something different.
That is the great thing about Vietnamese from Vietnam. They have their way and as a Vietnamese born in Canada, I try to do something the same but different. It is my natural instinct to try and do something about it.
I guess that is why Canada brings in immigrants. We can socialize and debate and share.
I learned so many good things from Vietnamese from Vietnam. I learned grit, resilience, 200% openness and work and work ethic. Also how to program the Vietnamese way which saved me from giving up.
I learned a full life instead of just my Vietnamese-Canadian way that I thought was right which was just hanging around. I pushed for more doing more maths, exploring more maths, and finally learning it was all numbers really.
Just keeping at programming for years (4) made me strong and able to stand on my own.
The more programming I do, I just become better and happier. That is the trick … zone out doing it and your mind will grow in levels and have more structure. Just do you. Create what you want and what bothers you. Then your mind is so complex and see more and do more beyond.
The trick is to solve a you/me problem. It solves 3 problems 1. You, 2. Me and 3. A problem outside.
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That is the problem. Most young people or inexperienced people think it is just everyday life and stringent stereotypes and control.
People think naturally race and stereotypes and keep that at a constant.
Only the people who are seen positive in the hierarchy are allowed to think and group up.
But when they think it is pretty much a group work and similar thinking.
Then when you add tons of programming practice solo for me things change and diverge from normal thinking and normal projects. Just programming a lot or doing something for years has more/has change. But is it really different from 70 years ago???
That is life when you get older and out of the system.
You go to school and work and are expected to do racial and stereotypical stuff.
That is all it is at work and at school???
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But really out there in public walking around shopping at the dollar store and at discount grocery stores no one actually thinks the same. Everyone is different and has their own problems. No one thinks actually racist, no one actually thinks stereotypical.
People actually gauge each other how smart you are and how much better you have it based on race.
Then they go full angry when they realize you aren’t the low stereotypical person.
The trick is to just live and deal with all the racism and name calling.
You eventually get better and walk around the racist remarks in safe Canada.
You eventually build up so much skill and life experience to just survive.
And the thing is you have decades of unique life experience. That is the thing. If you lived right and good studying and being busy, your unique experience in Canada makes do. You don’t realize this until you get there.
For example, I did my software. It is unique and matters to my friends and Vietnamese community regardless of how small it is.
That is why I avoid immigrants and most 2nd generations most of the time because they can be so 1-dimensional thinking about race. They literally even try to even stop you from just doing your thing sometimes.
But I am old fart and life is more than race and comparing.
You get so old and become so unique. Or really just broad …
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That is the funny thing about living in Canada when you get older like in your 40s. You see this in reality day-to-day.
The climate and conditions makes everyone one day live like the first peoples here in North America.
So people fighting for their culture and inclusion in North America are just people losing their self identity and thus power angle.
That is why immigrants are brought here to do things and make the economy go.
Even my dad is acting relaxed and chill and acts ‘Canadian’ after 46 years here in Canada.
So that is why it is important to stay chill when there are complaints about race, inclusion and culture.
The 3rd generation of immigrants and 4th and 5th and onwards have melded.
So what is this blog for?
To include other 2nd generation Vietnamese to understand the melding process.
But also learn that you must work and have work ethic do something with yourself. Canada provides everything to have a full life. You can literally study for 4 decades and one day open a small tutoring school and teach and show what you learned. You ought to have done something unique and something after 4 decades. You must have learned something by just living here in Canada for 4 decades …
When I am working with 5th generation Canadians everything is smooth.
When I am working with immigrants or young inexperienced people, there is comparisons and name calling …
I stay home 99.9999999999999999999999999999% of the time talking to my friends and other Vietnamese-Canadians and Vietnamese who lived in Canada 5+ years.
But sometimes talking to immigrants and meeting other people jolt you and your automatically react and reply and eventually learn from that experience.
So the point of Canada is to eventually handle all the new immigrants and inexperienced young people and one day become a 5th generation Canadian melded in the mix eventually becoming a real ‘Canadian’.
Eventually, we become a product of our location.
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When I was in Vietnam in 2018, I thought of 2 interesting things.
- I am OK intelligent and can live selling stuff.
- But when I meet ambitious Vietnamese I get angry with myself why I am not trying? I feel small.
Then some Vietnamese tell me to study and try to do something. That is the special things about the Vietnamese mindset. They say you “have to study and do something”. That phrase alone is so impactful.
I met many aunties and Vietnamese seller in the market tell me to do something.
That piece of thought is powerful for the Vietnamese man.
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The thing with doing is learning is this …
Some people say negative stop phrases and thinking.
That is normal when growing up.
When you get older in your 30s-40s, sometimes the negativity is so much that you do stop.
But if you can shake free and relax in a safe environment then you can proceed and grow.
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The thing about after middle-age for me is sometimes I still think negative.
Even when going out, certain situation and interactions make me think negative.
Only when I zone out and connect with my culture and family and friends I proceed.
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I found a way to think beyond the negativity, I meet daily …
“Why you thinking so negative?” I should somehow respond positive after careful reflection. This is Canada after all.
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‘Canadians’ don’t care what I do. I think small. All I am trying to do is figure out how to survive and feel good at the end in 2025.
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The whole point of living here in Canada as a coloured person is first to appreciate the Western open thinking.
It is hard at first.
That set the mood to think positive and move forward and keep thinking until you die.
Otherwise you think negative, think your negative way and crash in Canada.
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One day riding the bus, I got stereotyped badly.
I projected back … I have my own network now. It is 50 years after the War. Things are unique.
Basically I live Western. I just lived in Canada for decades and figured out how to live with uniqueness.
This is natural???
When you are young you think clockwork and think things happen based on the system …
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Old immigrant grandpas in their 60s-70s finally realize just living day to day in Canada will eventually turn out OK.
Everything settles, everyone respects one another
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After realizing all this … you realize this is just life.
Young people think in boxes and young life concepts: ‘Live’, ‘Laugh’ and ‘Love’ and maybe ‘Learn’. Old people are living life.
I realized this when working with my dad in construction. The 2nd perspective.
At the end of the day, we live, learn, and just live. That is the problem … This old adage is not complete.
We live to do something. Sometimes doing something is good and sometimes it is bad.
I learned a trick though … it is actually trying to solve a you/me problem. Keep at solving what distresses you and surprise your friends what you did. Surprising your friends who value you as a person is the real meaning of life.
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The thing with Vietnamese born in Canada … How much do they understand you?
They understand the light, they understand the social, they understand the public facing side? Is there really a dark side?
With immigrants they look at 1 angle usually.
Sometimes other coloured groups might either think opposite. Some young adults in that group might think negative and stop you from thinking and doing … even stop your growth … but they forget they are living in Canada …
But at the end of the day … you just have to live life and live growing wise and old.
But you learn from all interactions and try to improve it at the end.
A lot of young adults think crab mentality and negative and toxic.
But if you are thinking like that at 90 years old then …
or people just haven’t figured it out that you are supposed to grow more than your teenage years.
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That is why I don’t go outside much …
It is odd now. Because I grew up so much from working with my team and friends, younger people even 17 years old and even 30+ years old think negative of me.
They play on their phone so much and are glued to social media that they think in the worst negative stereotypes that are on social media.
That is what is cooking in today’s world. People believe what they see on social media 1000%.
When they go outside and work and socialize they can not socialize and think cordial no more.
It is not even worth it to go outside sometimes when people have 2-layers to themselves.
But there is always the group that work on themselves and see through and learn to think and socialize.
I had this happen way to often the other day.
Instead of working on themselves they just think in stereotypes. Who is cooking this batch?
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There is this thing about nepotism and nationalism that is good and bad.
If you only hire people based on nepotism and nationalism you don’t get that good of results.
But at the end of the day. People do what they can to solve the ‘me’ problem.
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At the end of the day … is it building yourself by building software?
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What do Vietnamese from Vietnam think? What do Vietnamese from Vietnam think of this 41 years old Vietnamese man born in Canada?
Well at the beginning it was all 1-dimensional.
The North and South Vietnamese are opposite I think.
But after they finish 4 years of school and 2 years of work, they finally see 10% of life in the West.
Depending on the field, if they did programming/computer science they understand the system and way of life like almost 100%.
The normal way for Vietnamese from Vietnam studying computer science is to work in the field and an area of interest.
That works and is great. They are under 30 and have lots of time to learn and do more and explore. Tons of growth left and tons of more fields to grow. That is what I learned from them after seeing them work. They helped me understand the way and how to think to get there.
From their experiences I tried to do the same but work in web development full stack.
I wasn’t happy.
I was not networked enough and wasn’t social enough and did not have the experience. Not even a 4 year degree.
I reflected so much. Took time off. No one wants web development.
I realized only the Vietnamese born in Canada understood the way I worked. I yearned for something. I wanted something different and more. I tried to socialize and network with the Vietnamese born in Canada.
It ended up that I learned to refactor so much that it became the think you really only do.
That is the trick about doing computer programming for me as a Vietnamese born in Canada. I learned from Vietnamese from Vietnam … reflected and went back and forth socializing with the groups (Vietnam and Canada) and made the conclusion to just keep refactoring.
That is the biggest thing I learned in 2025.
I got published twice this year and understood the value of coding long-term long-term on a long team project.
I grew in so much abundance that I am a stone when I go outside and meet the public.
The trick is everyone is unique and special and has something they like and need to address when they are born in the West.
If you address it then the world opens up and you have lots of control.
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But what have I really done?
What I have is a small Western journey. I was born in Canada and whatever happened, happened because I finally addressed my problem of feeling inadequate with immigrants and other groups and my parents.
But was life really to think, think and live so external?
Yes. When working even in construction jobs you got to keep busy and learn and be active.
That is why it is impossible to teach the current students and your children the value of ‘work’.
To raise children you have to just learn.
Even some adults with their own children prevent others from learning and growing … that is the scary part of life in Canada …
That is why it is almost true that people naturally live subconsciously racist, toxic and competitive.
Then the only way to work around the system and other people is just to stay home in modern safe society Canada and do your thing with your same frequency friends just like in the 1960’s and 1970’s like every other industry.
But people do turn around after getting a reality check.
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The problem I realized too is that some cultures prevent their kids from working until they finish university.
That sometimes works and doesn’t work. But again they live in safe Canada. It will take time and everyone eventually gets along. People at the end do what they need and like hopefully. Really each people have their own unique interests and skill.
All the things I did in the last year was just doing what I liked really and I got recognized for it. You learn from everything but at the end of the day it is basically learning to do what you want and like and reinforcing and building it from the negative interactions.
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