Updates (Sept 16, 2025)

In 2021 while still going to college, I took a course in healthcare called “Plagues, Poverty & People”.

I dropped out in about 2 weeks.

The classmates and prof were so active and brainy.

I could not keep up.

All the history and people and diseases mentioned were too much to remember.

I felt like a failure when I dropped that course.

I was like 36-37 years old at that time and could not keep up.

I thought because I was older and had some life experience and a previous degree, I could do that course relatively easy. NOPE!!! LOL!

I was arrogant thinking being older and having a degree meant something.

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When you do get older, it is good and nice that you at least finished a degree and have some experience in life and work just to have. I hope everyone get a chance to do well and get the same experience. Get your degree at least!!!

My life is pretty smooth up here in safe cold Canada with a degree and some work and life experience to maneuver.

If I never gotten a degree, I would not have this feeling that a degree is almost worthless but not too.

It is all about the lived experience and what you are interested in.

But I noticed this as well … depending on your group … you can learn better if the group is on your thinking frequency.

That is a problem I realize. People on the same frequency open you up and allow you to think easily without negativity.

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Previously, I thought everyone kind of thought the same … then as I socialized with Vietnamese, I realized most Vietnamese think on the same perspective.

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Learning to socialize with Vietnamese is very interesting.

After the introductions, the thing every Vietnamese looks at the end is anticipating … “what more?” or “what else?” or “what are you doing???” flat out.

Now I understand why Vietnamese are mostly independent. We are trying to do more and … “survive”.

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Interesting thing I learned while I was in college for practical nursing in 2019 – 2020 …

I was 35 at that time, I only talked freely and open and nice when talking to other older people.

That is the secret too!!!

I waited it out and worked a few jobs and when I went back to school for healthcare and it was relatively chill because I was old with experiences and had a hard degree and got along with the older crowd and teachers who had like 5+ years of life experiences. So everything is normal and minimized. Nothing really surprises you after you worked for 5 years and after you did a hard science degree.

Smooth sailing? Yes and mostly no. You still have to study 24/7 … the amount of knowledge you need to learn in healthcare is endless I learned now today.

This is what differs from other jobs. Healthcare I realize goes to infinity. And that keeps you healthy and busy for 3 – 5 lifetimes.

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After doing my thing, I realized healthcare is something up there and interesting still.

It has the long going thread and tunnel that keeps you focused.

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After 41 years, I now see after I did my thing and finally socialized with Vietnamese (my group), healthcare seems like a route for a ‘full life’ at the end. With family of your own and care.

I wasn’t able to socialize with my Vietnamese born in Canada group during my university days in the 2000s. Not even during practical nursing days either in the late 2010s.

I guess it was socialization with Vietnamese at the end that I was missing for 3+ decades.

Normal ‘Vietnamese-Canadian’ life after now I guess.

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If you do healthcare, no one makes fun of you and they are guilt ridden if they mess with you. Healthcare workers are ‘heroes’.

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Nursing is a way to get to do healthcare and get up there for a healthy life.

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It was nice to build this far.

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At a certain point you realize, the concept of being Vietnamese is solid and OK. Growing up Vietnamese was uncomfortable. Lot of push back growing up.

Some Vietnamese always are positive about being Vietnamese. That is what you see solidly when you get old.

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Real maturity in the West for a Vietnamese born in the West …

I can chase these dreams of mine till death.

It will make me feel good until I am 119 years old. I would have the best health, best mindset and best trajectory and be always happy.

But is that realistic to have? Realistic to have as a coloured person in the West? NO!!!

After working for 5 years normal jobs and then seeing my classmates in healthcare mature …

It comes to a point where we are just living for the sake of living and having family and children of your own.

You can not chase your dreams as a coloured person and have your own children really … you must have a normal job in healthcare for that stability and peace of mind.

There are coloured celebrities that have $100+ million dollars and contracts and have a family … that is for the young and ambitious.

Even maybe for me if I try more … but I am humble and have to follow in Ben Cybulski footsteps (live using your brain and not focus on gaining $). I don’t want to rock the boat as my life is good enough already here in safe cold Canada.

So I will return to a normal life and have a family of my own.

I can not run dual my dreams and have my own family. It feels pretty selfish and arrogant.

As a Vietnamese person, my life is pretty good and neutral. I don’t want to mess that up.

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Basically I am going to live OK now …

I worked on the projects and got to see how far it gets … That is the trick in doing life external. Doing my thing for the last 2-3 years made me see what life could be like going down this road.

It doesn’t really get better and will not allow you to have a family …

Just live OK now.

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The good thing about living so external doing this was that you did not live just OK. You tried to live for yourself and that could be more than expected in the general public eyes.

So when people see you they have to wrap their head around you. Sometimes it is good or bad how they react initially.

But again everyone usually learns from others and it is just whatever … People learn from you and move on … Just another day for everyone.

People in healthcare are not really bothered by you doing things for yourself as they are actually learning for themselves too with the constant interactions they have at their jobs.

So is life about learning all the time? All the time to feel good? Yes.

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I did not know after awhile doing your thing, you would live a life of doing external stuff.

Then people will judge you based on your external doings after and that could be good or bad.

Then you read online quotes and they all say to work on yourself … then you suddenly just live improving yourself and are just external thinking and external doing.

Is that life? Are we in the West programmed to live internally and safe and then one day live external for the health and longevity of keeping busy?

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I guess that is what parents do. They teach their kids to behave and study and grow up smart.

So that means parents are kind of teaching their kids to validate themselves living externally.

So when you do get a child of your own, you tolerate them until they socialize and learn to live external and grow on their own with their own friends.

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So life for me was that I never learned to be socialized the Vietnamese-Canadian way …

I kept going to straight to Vietnam to visit and learn the old culture which helped and did not help me live and focus in Canada. Basically two different worlds Vietnam and Canada.

Only when I befriended Tammy Nguyen and Tony Tie then I could focus living the Canadian way here in Canada instead of running back to the old culture back home …

I guess that is what happens when you move North and not play with Vietnamese born in Canada. You never learn to get a firm socialization with other Vietnamese born in Canada.

I guess now it is to flesh out this ‘Vietnamese-Canadian’ living to have something and grow and do something.

Must network with more Vietnamese born in Canada to grow more and get situated.

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