Updates (July 22, 2025)
I have been waiting for this for my entire life … I was waiting till I became mature and unbothered.
I was on this chase where I was constantly busy my way. I was busy in the background like everyone else …
Then I realized it required a community of people who were positive first.
Then it required the Vietnamese community all over the world to have a social network to grow in.
Now I feel normal.
I used to chase for stuff, chasing a life. Now I have that life.
So it required 2 things really:
- General friends who are positive and grow with you normally. I finally found same frequency friends working in my field in 2017.
- Your Vietnamese people who are growing together with you. Positive Vietnamese similar to you on your wavelength to walk in this life. From all backgrounds and places.
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Now I think very much like my father now who is 30+ years old than me. All it took was socialization in the 2 points above for 4-5 years also in my field. No forced labour.
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That is the cool trick about growing up …
You get to a point that you just have abundant time and play with ideas and … code.
I got to the point where I am doing the team projects for fun and toy around with things. There is time to play, sleep, reflect and rewind.
Yes, I am just doing my team projects and not working directly doing jobs for a company. I am indirectly doing things …
But play and this way of life is warranted for Vietnamese/coloured people born here in the West so they can grow and feel good and be healthy all the time.
I realized this and grew to this after finally socializing with same age peers who are Vietnamese in the West. Reflecting and living in safe Canada.
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What do you do in safe Canada as a Vietnamese born in Canada?
I was searching connections for decades and after socializing with Vietnamese working and living in Canada my age I realize …
We are all doing something as older people to live and past the time really.
We can learn from each other and share ideas and feelings.
Ultimately at my age range it is just doing stuff to past the time in ‘safe Canada’.
When I was socializing before, it was quite a mess of people demanding and growing and searching. Also reaching.
I guess I reached the old stage now of just slowly passing the time doing things in the safe open West.
But I did need to learn from everyone here and there to grow to this point.
The secret to life is the old stage where you have a big brain to handle all the random extremes of life but also live idly passing time slow doing something pretty fulfilling.
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Vietnamese old as me kind of stop caring a bit on the small and broader scale.
It is because they have something (a brain and lots of experiences and accomplishments and that growth edge where they are sharp and can always be sharper).
They are just walking and growing the adult old way really which is slow and fast and extremely open for anything.
But nothing really bothers them. They want to be in the game kind of but being old and a lot experienced allows them to adapt and learn.
But being so involved is also detrimental as that type of growth is not really needed at this point. Instead you need broad relaxed reflective growth over long stretch.
By just doing ‘your thing’ at this point will allow you to grow while witnessing everything going around you. That is the trick. Doing your activity that makes you also grows you so you don’t really miss out on life and life around you. Doing your thing grows you. Grows you overall. But reaching this point took years for me. Finding this ‘your thing’ might take decades.
But also missing out ain’t bad either as we kind of grown to accept life. Life has these problems.
You can always jump back though. That is life as an old person. You have the foundation and knowledge to spring back to life but really you don’t have to???
That is the secret why people learn and learn all the time so they can live long and spring back into action at any moment. The secret is to keep learning. This is one way to look at things.
I learned all this in Canada while socializing and growing. Mostly socializing with same range peers.
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I reflected about a week and realize I think like my dad now partly. Grown to accept being old. These are good things.
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You are supposed to really talk to people that don’t make a big deal out of stuff. Like they can turn your thoughts and ideas downwards 3 levels while making you feel still recognized and acknowledged. You are supposed to talk to people who are smarter than you in living and have similar life experiences to guide you and have ideas to play with.
This will calm your nerves, give you less stress, live better, be rested, make you feel small, make you feel normal, give you health. Make you feel you need to learn. Make you feel you need to learn about living. Make you want to live better. Make you have a purpose. Make you have the really nice humanistic goals. Reach to the soul. Bring out the soul. Not talk about external things. Talk about improving oneself and improving one’s soul.
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The secret to a modern life in the West for a Vietnamese guy from the South? …
Passion projects that makes you want to refactor all the time (clean up code, make more efficient, add features, fix bugs)…
Refactoring late nights.
If you reach this point in your coding life, then life is golden … You have the life pathway. It is go, go, go for life.
And it is nothing really special at the end. It is the constant go and whir.
In the beginning it was something great. But after 5 years on the job. It is daily activity and something you do that is good and great for your wellbeing and mind.
Did my older cousins know about this? Did the oldest cousins 10 years older than me show me the way?
My eldest cousin Loc from uncle #4 mother’s side was very stern with me in Vietnam in 2015. He told me to try the hardest to live in the West. Is what I just found (constant go and whir of improving your projects via refactoring) the answer to life in the West?
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What do you really do as a Vietnamese born in Canada?
After socializing and meeting other Vietnamese born in Canada, I feel there are 2 problems.
- Western culture
- Vietnamese culture told by Western culture
Growing up in the West is negative really going to school and just living. People just hate each other. Then after you start working as a coloured person and you see how your natural culture in your bones differs from the West and you feel awkward all the time when working with Westerners/in the West.
You reach for Western ideals like working hard, scaling up, being more efficient and being nicer even when working a supermarket job.
But the 9-5 capitalist work crushes you maybe???
You are supposed to stick with the group that makes money (work) and have future plans.
Then you realize you have only one life to live for your own health. If you don’t do it then working 30+ years doing routine work doesn’t make sense if you are born in Canada. You are suppose to live your life like a Westerner??? or whatever you can? and choose? because you are born in Canada.
I know 2 Vietnamese born in Canada live very unique lives. I only know 2 Vietnamese born in Canada and they are Tony Tie and Tammy Nguyen. Both are very unique.
So that is it??? Each live a unique life?
… so I live a unique life too? And am I coming to terms that I will live an unique life too? Life needs structure and routine too …
To be continued …
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