Updates (June 21, 2025)
It is getting easier to reflect now because I am older …
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My father says sometimes he rather have a different life …
But that is absolutely not good.
He reads books, takes care of his own business, smokes and drinks coffee.
Any other life other than this is pretty unhealthy.
That is the thing you don’t realize when you have it good already.
But my father never finished school or did things that required a lot of maths. He is missing out in developing unique things and zoning out for his benefit: zen, health, growth and development, feeling good doing something recognized, feeling like an academic/researcher/inventor/creator, feeling like an engineer.
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What people like?
I am hearing that some people like people based on different factors at the forefront of their criteria.
I like people based on a well rounded life mainly to balance me.
Life ain’t all about accomplishing things really. You get there still by balancing out with people opposite to you.
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So as I understood life, live can be about problems of groups too.
If I never just lived for the sake of myself, I wouldn’t have a stand against other groups.
That is why after university and if you don’t get the job/career you want, venture out on your own for a decade or more.
Life isn’t about stereotypes because those general stereotypes don’t include you.
I thought I could get into some fields but I had to live outside because of me.
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Working normal jobs and not doing stuff for your own development makes you cut corners and get sick.
Previously for the last 5 years, I was learning.
For the last 3 years I was learning for me.
Last 2 years I was learning for work.
Then I realize now working with my father, I should run my own business so I take care of me and my enjoyment.
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If my father did not work and read books now, I wouldn’t have someone to debate and follow.
Some parents give up after a career and enjoy what time they have left on Earth.
But no, that is pretty bad for the whole morale of a family.
I did the things for the last decade+ to prove myself and my family I could do stuff.
It worked.
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What is life if you find out everything doesn’t really matter?
I wanted to teach.
I wanted to do computer stuff.
But I work a normal job now.
But sometimes you are tested and don’t want to feel lesser.
So that means you need to work and learn more.
That is the cycle of life.
Like I always knew this kind of.
You have to work and feel relevant.
But that is a journey of yourself mainly. I worked since 2020 to 2025 and now can stand on my own 2 feet.
Working uniquely is everything.
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What is life when you work for someone as a Vietnamese in the West?
It is bad and you are pretty upset I think. Some people just don’t get along.
If you open your own business you don’t have the anger of needing people and don’t have to kiss ass all day.
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My father has his own business and it is hard.
Some of my siblings have to work for others and that is not that good.
I work for my father now and it is hard. Harder than my siblings.
So when my siblings complain about working for other people, I can’t not relate and I feel sorry for them.
That is the trick. You work for 5 years doing coding and all the jobs out there in the public physical market (service jobs mainly) become doable. And working with your father is easy. Coding does great things to conquer 99% of most problems.
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Ben pushed me to do programming. If it wasn’t for him I would feel negative and at a loss all day.
I would hire and not learn for problems.
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Sometimes I see South Asian families work together and live together.
The parents push their kids to learn engineering or life science first. If they don’t get into the profession after, they work with their family doing the nice profession or just work anything.
That is the trick of learning engineering/science. Once you learned engineering/science 4-year degree, everything else is OK and doable and you don’t get stressed.
So the trick for everyone experiencing hardship at current work is to go back to school and do coding/engineering/science so you can handle the outside better. Mainly 101% coding.
I had to learn this for myself. No one taught me this.
It is a secret???
That is why I kept doing it until I understood it. Now I understand the secrets to life.
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After learning about grouping and science, I realized it is society and also we get what we want in time. Also it is just human need and want to learn everything. Especially once you start working.
In the beginning of life here in Canada, some groups reserved some areas and fields. They were secretly improving themselves overall and not wanting other groups to have a full life …
But in the real world just working a night job stocking shelves at the superstore, people left out in the beginning realize you have to learn and be open to learn all the time.
Then you go back to school and do what you like or study with your friends or at work.
Then you realize every person learns or they can not function at all. You literally can not do anything if you don’t learn.
Weird life here in Canada sometimes.
You have to go broader and broader and then broadest.
I work with Ben Cybulski and I think that is ‘very broad’.
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It is odd now what I am experiencing.
Depending who you interact with, some people are so based on work and accomplishments and that is not sustainable. Good when they are young and striving.
Once you get the full picture of life in general, you don’t want to associate with people based on work and accomplishments. Rather be alone than having to deal with trying hard all the time to get to the next hill.
The things I do was so tiring. The things I aim for are tooooo much for me to handle.
Tammy Nguyen doesn’t really care at the forefront of my accomplishments. It is expected and secondary to just living and doing your thing I think. And doing your things you enjoy as a Western born Asian, that sets the tone of life and living good. People like her make life livable with out the negativity of asking or doing more at the table.
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The other day working with my father, I was tested.
I had to try. Think more and outside the box and against it. To socialize and create that is on the Western side.
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I found out there are groups within the Western main group.
I am seeing Vietnamese live Vietnamese in the Western sense.
They know they are Vietnamese but still live Vietnamese while doing or trying to live Western or with Western goals.
They have a lot and the amount is hefty and full.
They are probably living the best life as a Vietnamese person as they keep a sense of forward identity as a Vietnamese person but work for Western benefits.
I see lots of Vietnamese from the North have this from Vietnam.
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What do I get living in the West as a Vietnamese man?
You have to weigh in everything to get along.
In the Vietnamese community, my life is really OK in the West when among other Vietnamese.
Knowing what I know now about coding and striving and now having the ability to learn OK now, I have a lot in the Vietnamese group.
Got to realize that and appreciate that and share here in the West. It is not in Vietnam.
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How my life is good in the West as a Vietnamese man and within the Vietnamese community in the West.
I work with my team to do “old, old man” coding.
After 35 years old, we are doing our thing and not chasing or running in the rat race.
Everyone gets to this one day if they give themselves time and give themselves space to do unique things true to their being.
It is nice to do this in the West. But it probably won’t make money 😕.
But it is a great way to live and feel good daily …
But to make money is to compete on web services.
But my life is good in both senses.
I should feel gratitude.
But living in the real world is different … If you work a normal job, no one cares as everyone is growing and working just to live.
But everything I talk about now is the addition and reflection after working on yourself since 2013. So you still have to take time out to do something you feel is good feeling and makes you.
From the Vietnamese perspective living in the West, my life is quite OK. But realistically to have the best forward money producing super stressed life is to do web services. And not your own content.
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Studying more and doing more is OK once you are out working normally after the following …
Life feels OK when you finally studied what you want and excelled in your passions and worked in your field and can see the finish line decades till the end. This required decade plus of work on my part.
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The real kicker in life was returning to my old university Vietnamese groups and seeing what happened when I completed something unique on the world market.
I got people talking. Made people think more than the degree and beyond the normal 9-5. Made people mature.
But at the end of the day, it was normal growth and maturity when you have not gotten a professional job and don’t have kids yet.
My team and I were solving a problem in society at our age. Fill a gap. The goal in life at later stage is to solve a problem in society.