Updates (May 31, 2025)
Yes, I finally understand life after socializing with same people.
That was all it was really. The main problem in my life was not meeting people who understood life better than me.
Tammy Nguyen knows life in the West and the world and knows how to adjust and compare for stability in the mind for Vietnamese born in Canada like her and I.
I always thought about giving up studying and working and just live.
But with her guidance and just herself she showed me the way to life with health and dignity in the West.
Now I don’t sweat it.
You don’t really have to go and explore and go out there. After befriending Tammy, I realize it is more study and zone out work as that will grow me and give me growth and stability I need after realizing I can not give up and must accept hard work like this.
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Vietnamese from Vietnam must stay in the West for awhile until they too have the knowledge and experience to work by themselves to lift themselves to accepting work like Tammy.
But it took me from 2014 to 2025 to accept hard work with lots of giving up and feeling hopeless and despair in between.
So that means people need to connect with people who care for you genuinely and feel the same so you don’t go to the sidelines and lose out to life.
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Everyone has that feeling …
Everyone has the feeling that things will work out.
Working and doing stuff and doing stuff you like will turn out good at the end.
But I did not know that life would turn out by reaching but also somewhat anxious and kind of OK at 41 years.
It was way better than it was at 35 years old.
When I was 35 years old, I did not know that life needed so much merit to help someone with their health and outlook.
I thought I knew life at 35 years old but no. I am a Vietnamese guy who just wanted wife and kids at 35 while going back to school working health. I wasn’t living for myself and my health was poor because I did not have someone who knew more teaching what was more to life.
Some people just want money and assets to fend off being poor.
That doesn’t work for Westernized people as that is self-defeating. You end off thinking bad and negative most of the time.
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It is really hard maybe for me to think this way now. I did not know you had to reach this level of thinking to rest really.
No one taught me this way until Tammy taught me.
She had family in high places and I thought and thought until I reached high places too. Without her I would have just thought my way … but at the end of the day … everyone knows this type of work is at the end … people are funneled in this direction in life … But really I needed the support of Tammy and Ben to reach here.
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Things I noticed after socializing finally …
I finally started socializing ‘normally’ in 2017 when I went back to college and did what I liked in life.
Going back to college doing computers, I wasn’t pushing or doing stuff for the sake of credibility like I once did when I was younger … Like doing Asian things to conform and for face …
Then I realized in 2025, the people that do stuff for themselves to have social esteem aren’t actually doing the right way.
Doing social media and doing YouTube might go 2 or 3 ways.
- You get YouTube famous. Only a certain people can do it right that benefits mostly.
- Social media was steps in the way to learn that the right way which solitude and zoning out doing your own thing alone with your same frequency friends away from posting on social media.
- You fall apart and have to rebuild yourself after.
Most men know social media can be good and bad. It depends what you are aiming for and who you are personally.
I don’t post because the vices are a lot. Just text for me.
Again certain people with good constructive hobbies will flourish and people that have families of their own to support will do OK I think.
But it draws a fine line still when you are thinking making money as you have to sell something.
As I have gotten some accomplished things, I post my cousins businesses still on my Facebook and also post things that are important.
I am now recognized and I post helpful things.
It took years of growing up. A lot of misunderstandings. But at the end it was learning and growing constructive hobbies in solitude. That is the greater good and the only light for me and everyone.
I also did social media but it was a way to socialize and realize all this.
Also now with what I have, I showed myself and others, the way for merit and face was to do your things and your intuition. Your intuition and your thing should grow you.
The bad side to this after is that you have some merit now. But that is life. Doing your thing that brings merit and face will have that bad side so all you can do now is continue to grow and help and explain the sides to doing your thing for life.
At the end of the day, anything everyone does brings merit and face. Some of it more positive than others …
That is life … but the most significant healthy way was knowing education, research and zoning out is at the end the way for health. Your way to this path might be bumpy to realize this.
Socializing and seeing what people do (your people and others) to learn from and compare will set you up to do better. If you socialize correctly with your people though you will learn and divert to doing better. Other groups might draw you into a negative opposite thinking that will do more harm then good. You can sense who is good for you after you play things out.
Life is long. You must select the people in your life to have the most fun constructive things out of life.
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Interesting thing about life in Canada … diversity …
I am seeing people on FB Marketplace with good things I want to buy.
They are doing great things to afford such stuff. I am learning to from them. I am learning to do my own thing more and more to be specialized so one day I have good things to buy and use.
That is the thing about life in Canada, people usually end up doing what they life in supportive Canada. They are doing something interesting at the end because they understand the West and do something they like and love with a lot of push too I think.
I think I am doing OK. I could learn more. I could learn more to specialize more.
It is just life. In Canada, I can do my thing really at my own pace really. That is the beneficial thing here in Canada.
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When you get to know a person, you help them.
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What is it like to build software but your own passion software?
When it gets pretty big and complex, it becomes a ‘your problem’.
Many people will use the software but many people will not care …
You then have to fix all the bugs mainly by yourself. Sometimes in some cases users will post the bugs they encounter.
The software become something else … You do it for fun and for the public mainly but it becomes like something for you when it gets this big and complex this way. It has become ‘you’ thing.
The software becomes something like a reflection of you, what you mean, and where it is going and where and who it is improving …
People have to get to experience this to understand it’s existence and what does it do to people and themselves.
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How is it like to live like a Vietnamese born in Canada?
After not living for myself, my brother wanted to invent BenchTweakGaming.com with me. Then life turned out really different.
In November of 2020, my brother William wanted to do www.BenchTweakGaming.com. He waited for me to help him. I had to mature first and get the skills to do my share.
Now everything is on the excess side of life maybe??? But it is not.
We share our experiences.
We are venturing into new ways.
As Vietnamese men, it is how life went and we turned into old people.
To have merit and dignity too we did stuff.
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Life looks like it changed and it did.
According to my older brother, it was old age that changed him.
I am still 4 years younger and all this is a whirlwind of change for me.
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What is life now? What did I think before?
Growing up in Canada, I was taught by my elementary school teachers that life was education here in Canada.
Then life hit me … all the problems of growing up.
Then today I was talking to a Canadian and learned that life you have to try hard to learn so you have at least the education to know and be informed about everything so you don’t feel bad or think about money.
The more information you know, the less you want money and less assets you want and less you think bad.
That is life in the West.
That is the greater good.
That is how life is made since the dawn of time.
If you don’t think then you have problems and lean on people. That is all it is.