Update (May 26, 2025)
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I wrote this page above … and realize it is the relationships that drive you. It is what makes life.
It is not work, the money, the job and the social status.
Now I realize the negative interactions I have are misunderstandings. You do things that drive you that is beyond you which are the special relationships you have.
Tammy Nguyen supported me.
Other people too but it was her.
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Why it is great to be an old person …
Everyone has a brain really.
Everyone is thinking and doing something since day 0.
But once you have a relationship with someone, you grow and diverge from society with a different path. What people say or comment or criticize is different for you and your friends.
As an old person with relationship you have some level understanding like the majority because you are old, you are a Vietnamese who tried hard to understand life and surroundings and an relationship that makes you go and drive.
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As a southern Vietnamese person, this is probably the best I can do in Canada.
This will give me the healthiest lifestyle here to live probably the longest and give me the smarts and confidence to think about life and the West.
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Because I am born in Canada and love the things about Canada. The love of doing Western things like your passion and hobbies conforms to Western thinking and values. I think doing what you love and going all for it is what drives the West?
That is why as a Vietnamese born in Canada, I can really only get along and bond with other Vietnamese born in Canada.
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That is the thing about life in Canada especially …
Once you are at this point, you can not really think basic or baseline. You are evolving.
You done basic school, you become skilled, then you zone out for the next few years with unwavering support then you become specialized, specialized. People noticed. Then you realize there is no point in thinking baseline or basics really. Like you still do but it is basically abstract and doesn’t mean much like what people think. So now you are growing and evolving to help grow and help others.
Basically you are growing and not defined by people other than you and your friends.
Again everyone has that feeling of growth and evolving especially when they get old.
It is sometimes how society is to label and categorize people …
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Was it good to speak about race and culture as a Vietnamese born in Canada???
Well I have better overall health and many more useful connections and more opportunities now after speaking my mind.
I feel as if I have a deeper understanding of people, place and things. I understand the whole environment now. I even understand myself more. The range of dark and light feelings and emotions are fully understood now.
I even understand female relationships now. I understand how other Vietnamese born in Canada feel.
I was reluctant and closed off before.
Understanding your culture and feelings is needed to grow, and then decide.
If I did not do what I did for the past 5 years, I would not have confidence and the reach to think and think outside the box like my father and mother.
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Some people say you are not supposed “to think” …
If you don’t think from the range of A to Z then you don’t understand and learn. You don’t learn from everyone.
The range is not A to Z. It is the range from A to infinity really.
If you don’t expand your horizons then you don’t understand you or life. Life is not in a box.
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As an old man living in Durham Region Oshawa, I learned somewhat the culture of the West but in Canada.
Are there limits? Am I limited? Living 40+ years in the West I understand somewhat 40 years of general life.
Therefore, by zoning out doing my thing for the last few years with unwavering support from Tammy, what ended up was making projects with the team that was a bit different than expected.
That is all it was. Understanding the dominate culture then zoning out to doing your thing, then something arises at the end however big or small the value.
It goes to a point where refactoring your projects is “the thing”. That is probably one of the final steps in coding projects … creating better structure, better efficiency and adding features.
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You are allowed to think from “A to unlimited” if the person you are dealing with is more closed minded than you.
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Seriously, as a Vietnamese man born in the West … what I am doing now and thinking now is pretty healthy.
If I don’t do this and continue and more, then there isn’t really any ‘health’.
And at my age of 41 years old, it is difficult to wake up in the morning if you don’t do stuff like this to grow and broaden your horizons this way.
The Vietnamese negative stereotypes are still lingering. Even today while shopping at supermarkets, I had other groups throw negative closed minded criticism at me.
Yes, I could think like my father and mother and think so broad and universal while working healthcare like they want …
But I am not there yet … I know some doctors are more open minded than me … while some are just young and still thinking their young way. Also it depends on the person …
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What was I missing in life? Full unwavering support. Tammy Nguyen supported me and I feel I have a perspective to speak from that allows understanding and growth from this angle and more.
I did not know how to feel all the time before. Now I know what I feel with the support of Tammy.
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Are people sick because they have no full support? No support in the West? No support on how they feel? No support for growing?
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The thing with being born in Canada is sometimes you are open minded and sometimes you don’t want to say something for the sake of it.
But there is always that person who is the broadest in the room that lets you know what is going on and what activities you should do to keep in “the green”.
But that still doesn’t address the all the things you must go through to feel good, understand and be understood and expressed if you don’t go about doing the things and doing the things to go over the fence to feel the next feeling.
But stay in the green.
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Closed minded thinking is just stoppage and closed energy.
The more you open your mind the Western way the more you see and the more energy becomes available later for you to know and experience and use.
Everyone is on a pathway of further experiences of their elders and their unique journey.
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When you get old you start thinking more and it gets odd …
That is why it is hard for me to go outside and think with young people.
The young people these days mostly grew up with smartphones and tablets. They were curated with YouTube recommended videos??? Some think within that.
You have to be open minded. That is a skill you learn usually from going outside a lot and dealing with the elders.
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I have a couple of friends just living life working with customers probably in sales.
They look to be having a great time and also growing very well and good.
Why did I stop working like that?
What was I looking to do?
I got a lot of different experiences since 2019 doing what I am doing.
Now when I look back to what my friends are doing, it seems they have it better and grown so much better.
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The thing about living alone in Oshawa away from Vietnamese born in the West …
You are not sure how to feel sometimes as the dominant Western culture overshadows you. You become compliant and can not think really. You feel your thoughts and thinking are opposite and/or wrong.
You get bottled up. Your siblings get bottled up and have issues.
Basically you can not really grow as the default Western culture is a force mainly. Only some Westerners with the broadest mindsets allow you to express and grow so one day you think broad too.
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One thing is to listen to Western ideas and thoughts the other is to try to do it and perform like it and try to do more.
Overtime you evolve to it? but how many generations?
That is why I just zone out.
From my experience some people think universal and everyone is included. The Westerners act upon it while I watch mainly.
The best I can do is accept and use what I know from living in the West and try to zone out and perform what I can.
I live in safe Canada so there is nothing to worry about.