Updates (May 24, 2025)
I was in the Oshawa downtown area on Thursday.
I encountered 2 nice Canadian people.
I am neutral so that is why I get along with everyone. That is why I live in Oshawa.
One nice lady told me because I think Asian/Vietnamese naturally, if I want to live properly here in Canada I should focus on study and ‘my stuff’. Like stay home and do my thing … Basically, the way I think naturally doesn’t apply to everyone … I think small.
I walked around downtown and met another guy. He was nice and smart. Way smarter than me and nicer and probably half my age.
I figured that yeah … I feel pretty inadequate even after what I done. I should really focus on my stuff to have a full life of ‘external value’ to feel good in Canada.
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That is the thing about Canada and Canadian people, they are not only Canadian but they are on the move.
That is a part of their identity.
But for me as a southern Vietnamese born in Canada and educated in the West, sometimes I move and sometimes I am a rock.
If I was born in Vietnam, I would be working non-stop because there is no good social support. That is why Vietnamese immigrants with a passion and hard work ethic come to the USA and work and achieve milestones of success.
Again that depends on the person and other factors.
But I do have a passion here in Canada. My mother born me to like computers. I like experimenting and testing out stuff alone. Everyone has something and a passion. No one is completely a still rock.
The positive side of being a rock thinking small, is that this perspective makes me think upwards. That is a positive note of me being Vietnamese, being southern Vietnamese and educated and socialized in the West however positive or negative it is at whatever angle. This is how I define myself???
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Time and time again, I am reminded I have to learn and keep moving.
When I was young, I was in despair. I did not know how I felt daily. I was not experienced or educated enough to know you had to keep learning and developing to feel good, growing and stable. And you won’t be stable until 35 years old.
When you get into your 40s, you realize moving and doing is the way things are.
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This blog is also for me to document and grow. Especially for my age, I have to think forward and grow constantly.
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Life in the West but particularly Canada …
I have my passions and that is OK with 99.9999999% of Canadians who meet me. Because what I do is ‘small change’. It is something but not really anything.
Some coloured people go hard and try to do professional jobs … and what they get depends on their race, culture and what the world sees in the West sometimes.
In my case of being a Southern Vietnamese born in Canada, the Canadians don’t care what I do. My teacher in grade 4 told me to focus on education as that is the only option here in Canada for a coloured person who thinks Vietnamese/Asian. This is seen in other Asians in history in the West.
On Thursday, a nice Canadian also nicely told me the same. So even after 30 years since grade 4, the nice Canadians allow me to live here doing my passions for ‘face’ and ‘good feelings’ to add some value to Canada.
If I think so coloured, then there are some problems. I don’t feel good. I feel like there is no point to live 100% coloured as the coloured system is bad for me. I get placed in a box and put to the corner and never looked at just because the coloured system wants other people placed by the ‘supposed country hierarchy in the world’ which is flawed as now things are being developed in Vietnam. Again that depends on the person thinking positive or negative or East or West.
Also it depends on you. Your perspective at home is how you view yourself as everyone has grown and understands the world. Everyone has a brain.
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I think because I did not grow up in Vietnam poor, I can not talk to Vietnamese from Vietnam and have the same understanding and same thinking at first??? All conversations go their way.
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Back in August in 2024, I went to one of the best Vietnamese restaurants in Mississauga. I went with my friend Chien.
When I was paying for our lunch, I saw the owner/manager. I sized him up and then he showed me how smart, structured, nice and human he was. And also how he dealt with me using Vietnamese adapted to the West cultural nuances. I was floored.
Living Vietnamese in the West is great. How Vietnamese adapt in the West can floor people on the way they work, live and socialize and deal with people.
As a Vietnamese boy born in Canada, I am shocked, pleased and dumbfounded by the interaction. Lots to learn and feel good about.
Their pho tastes out of this world and it reflected the owner.
Also the the other Vietnamese people working their understood me. I was a 40 year old Vietnamese man born in Canada who understood the ropes living here in Canada and is now pretty much grown.
I did OK. We understood each other. They understood what I was doing and my path to health and life in Canada.
Again everyone basically has a brain. If you listen to your intuition and Canadians show you the way when you are young and throughout life … because Canadians feel sorry for you as a Vietnamese person … then life is not that bad if you do things similar to me.
My way is just for self-esteem and health and growth. It doesn’t satisfy all points like making tons of money and having lots of assets.
It is centered on feeling good and good health.
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Why it is great to befriend Vietnamese born in Canada as a Vietnamese born in Canada …
When I was young growing up in the 1990s-2000s, the Vietnamese I grew up with born here in Durham Region were divided.
Some acted Canadian, some acted Asian, some a mix in between to divide themselves based on popularity and social status at the time.
Each of the Vietnamese I met felt different because growing up in Canada everything is divided similar to the West but softer and nicer sometimes. People want to blend and sometimes not … It all depends on how they feel at the time when they are young and how they feel naturally.
Growing up, Vietnamese born in Canada tried to associate with the people with most popularity I think, and then married and had kids with who they are compatible.
When I went to Durham College to study in 2017, I saw some Vietnamese on the class list and found out they also wanted to associate with the majority too sometimes.
Now in 2024-5, when I talk to Vietnamese who are now older or mature, I realize ‘some’ Vietnamese are fiercely proud of their natural Vietnamese identity. This is usually after finding that acting like the majority is was too hard and made them go too far out of their understanding and control. They fall back to being Vietnamese after trying to be the majority. Some do accept the ways of the majority and can coexist though. And that all depends on themselves and their partner and environment and opportunities.
So I am 41 years old and finally befriended Vietnamese from Canada in 2021 and 2024. We talk about the biggest thing, the elephant in the room, that is what Canada means to us.
Having the environment like Canada we can either do what we like forever or stay coloured. The Vietnamese born in Canada who understood this from the start, enjoy and take their time going back and forth between two cultures building something new in the process and daily. There is no rush and no solid identity. We can not work with people who firmly state their identity and presence as we grew up in Canada and are blended and are progressive.
I stay home most of the time socializing with Canadians and people born here in Canada because it causes problems when I meet people who state what they are and want with 100% firmness and expect you to follow them 100%. After 30 years in the country they give up and are blended too though. If I follow their firmness now, I get no where and stuck doing nothing and it ruins my mental health and life.
That is what happens when you want to life and want to do something in this country.
The only solution then is to do your passions??? as that doesn’t affect no one.
If people are expected to stand around doing nothing when they are coloured then that ends up bad.
The thing is that you are supposed to improve. Some people not here in this country for 30 years don’t understand that.
For a Vietnamese guy who is born here and to not improve is horrible. So I ignore people. The negatives that come with not improving yourself in Canada are terrible.
Again the solution is passions for me, for a Vietnamese guy born in Canada.
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What happens when you are 41 years old in 2025 as a son of Vietnamese Boat People born in Canada?
I had problems growing up because I did not associate myself with Vietnamese born in Canada.
But once I got connected in 2021 and 2024 to Vietnamese born in Canada everything went smoothly as we had the Canadian variables now at play with each other.
Therefore we work with Canada variables to work, live, enjoy and play broadly trying to be Canadian as possible. We are growing, working and learning intermingled with Vietnameseness and Canadianess.
For example, when Tammy Nguyen befriended me, I stopped to understand my surroundings. Because of her support I took the time and energy to understand her family. Her parents took the time to study and then have her later in life.
That was all it was as a person born in Canada. When you are young you rush. But once you got school and experiences down packed you then understand the amount of work and experience and thinking you need to have things and have a life in Canada.
You take your your time thinking and being Canadian. That is to study and enjoy and relax having fun as Canadians to develop, play and learn with all the Canadian variables. If you don’t do that you are just in the rat race with Canadians and immigrants vying for the professional position in healthcare and government jobs.
Tammy Nguyen supported me and now I have done some fun, unique stuff that I do and am passionate about. I am living the Canadian life with Tammy Nguyen and Tony Tie who are Canadians.
If I run in the rat race it is brutal. All I can do is live like Canadian and Vietnamese blend to have the broad life. And that allowed me to develop cool unique things.
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The thing about Asians in the West. I talked above about being Canadian born.
When I was young I saw South Asians and Yellow Asians just do school and when they are finished graduate school and worked for 3-5 years they have a family.
That was all it was back in the 1980s and 1990s that I remember Asians do.
That has not changed.
I did my thing with Tammy and Tony support but it was Vietnamese way.
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As a 41 years old I finally achieved somethings only because I lived the Canadian way and with the support of Tammy and Tony.
I reached some cool things because I am thinking different from the people of the past. I learned from the past. And that is what it is as a Vietnamese guy. And that is expected.
As an old man who is basically just old, I have experienced a lot that what I am doing now is just things. Things that may be different because I have done a lot already and did the normal stuff already.
That is what happens when you are me but the defining line is that I am just old and worked with Canada and Canadians and Tammy and Tony.
As you continue to be old, you just do more things as things can not stop, you can not stop your brain once you learned a lot and gotten older.
And also things are not in your favor.
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Deep down inside me I knew I had to do stuff after visiting Vietnam in 2015.
In Vietnam people were doing a lot. Some Vietnamese were trying to go overseas to other developed countries to live.
I took it upon myself to do something for me instead of just relying on others really.
So I went back to my center and kept at what I wanted to feel developed and good. There was no turning back as I felt bad just winging life everyday. At an old age you have to help and develop yourself for merit especially when you are coloured and seen in a bad light.
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I have the brain now where I can adapt and think more and up.
After I expressed my feelings, I understand people including myself from their dark side to light side.
All that is next is to work now? and have a life and family now I think.
I had this opportunity to grow because of my brother-in-law telling me how he thinks and feel and Tammy Nguyen supporting me really.
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The cool thing about Tammy and Tony is that I can say whatever I feel and get no backlash. However, I feel is just a part of life in Canada for us Vietnamese people.
Because we live Canadian we have this immense wide different feelings of being born in a first world country.
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The great thing now that once I have specialized, specialized in my hobby with accomplishment to show, now I have the stuff to share and teach whoever.
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As a person, I thought blogging and expressing myself was bad according to what I seen on social media. People say blogging or posting yourself online is reaching out for attention.
But that is wrong mostly. As a Vietnamese person with the negative stereotypes attached to my people, I had to post.
As one of the oldest Vietnamese born in the West after the Vietnam War, I did not see similar life experiences that I was experiencing at my old age. I was still going to school and figuring out life. My people are new to the West.
Blogging about it and putting stuff out there helped develop me and made me grow and develop things that are not the norms.
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I am feeling dark sometimes because I understand the negative sides of life … but does that just mean I am not doing enough and keeping busy doing what I like?
Keeping busy is all that life is.
You got to keep moving.
Especially at my age and now understanding life after becoming specialized, specialized.
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So after I grew with Tammy’s support, I understand now what it is to have some accomplishments because of specialization, specialization and reflection and growth afterwards.
There is also the understanding what it is to be Vietnamese born in the West.
How people treat me and how they feel is based entirely on them and their bias.
I actually have nothing to do with it because I am Vietnamese with the negative stereotypes attached since the 1970s. I am not ‘Canadian’ so what I do should not bother people as I am trying to live with merit like everyone else in this world.
It is people’s problem if they have a problem with me. 120% of the time because they are biased.
How am I supposed to enjoy ‘my passions’ like everyone else in the world if I stop and care about peoples negative thinking???
I guess everyone needs support from like minded people at the end. I should have had it when I went to university in 2002 but whatever happened, happened LOL!