Updates (April 26, 2025)

I finally got to the next level in old, old age socializing with people.

At this stage working hard makes you feel kind of an ass.

But if I don’t work hard, I have not much but people like me.

All I have is my projects and personal drive in the West. All I have is my hobbies really.

And that is what grew me. I guess that is the way of life as a coloured man who is Vietnamese in the world.

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The old, old man thinking is just getting coffee and complaining about the times and watching and observing.

I used to do that in 2014. It got me no where but it was normal. I need normal???

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I learned as a Vietnamese man, that I am very open. I mainly think Asian but am so open that people don’t really judge me. I am waiting for the cue from forward people developing people.

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What does a Vietnamese born in Canada really need I see now?

After growing a ton and finally realizing old, old socializing. I realized you actually have to keep quiet and work in the shadows in the forward West with people who support projects and your continuing activities. Ben Cybulski, Allan Michael Lane and Dmitry give me things to do. It is a collaborative effort. When you get old you collab with people because each person now has different experiences and weakness and ideas. It is not like when you are young and everyone has the same experience and skills.

That is the truth I seen when I was young looking at other Asians who have been here for 40-60 years. It is work in the shadows with forward Western people to at least do something.

All you got after with your friends and your culture who understand this dynamic. Basically I have my friends and other Vietnamese born in Canada.

The reason why you work in the shadows is because life outside on display is not for coloured people really. Work in the shadows with understanding people is all you need really. That will still grow you and protect you mainly.

But can you have it both ways? I can still work with my Vietnamese in Canada to see what I can think of. With lots of experience and work, I may develop a new idea worthwhile … That usually comes from just doing your thing.

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Talking about race and cultures doesn’t do nothing among coloured people really. When coloured people discuss people, it is one against the other and doesn’t allow for openness or understanding until you get into your mid 30s where everyone pretty much thinks Western. It is actually bad when coloured people talk to one another as it is comparing and hierachial.

If you lived in the West long enough, the Western understanding of people takes over and each and every culture is usually just different ways to approach a problem mainly. And when you think Western, you help and elevate each other to understand each other.

Does everyone think the same at the end while doing work? I think mainly yes. People try to think open and Western.

But when you think old, old, that is a different story now in my 40s.

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At old, old age, I see live as thinking different now. I work with lots of people, Ben, Simon, Allan and Dmitry mainly. They are open and trying to be better that is their personality. They help me think open like them. That is my problem. They see me closed off mainly and they open my mind. I see my problem now.

But the thing is to think naturally your way. But also see where that might take you instead of thinking your way is negative and closed off.

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I used to live simple back in 2014, living the normal life or eating, sleeping, and trying to get deals. That made me sick and feel bad all day. I did that for years.

Now when I am old, old because I did growing things like my own hobbies, I feel good that I have risen to smart old, old thinking.

I guess life at the most smallest level is to do your hobbies in Canada regardless of whatever people say because that is the only thing that might grow you and make you feel “zoned” for that good feeling. Which in turn will grow you and make you grow up.

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How much is programming? Everything has been programmed already since 70 years ago.

But what sets people apart? I guess it is do you your thing really and see what mashup you made regardless of whatever has been done before. That is the trick to life.

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After working in 2016 to 2018 out here in Oshawa, I realized the life worth living was doing what 2 people were doing for me really. It instilled in me:

1. At the supermarket I met a guy who was working as a cashier and developing games for himself and his friends.
2. At the electronics store I met a girl doing websites and coding while going to school.

I saw this in Oshawa. I did not expect that. I thought only in Silicon Valley things were made. Nope, you start here and do what you want regardless of location and expense. Just go with it. That is real life working in the West.

And that is the thing about working outside in the real world after school. These people exists and are mature to do things. These things are huge in life. That is what Western life brings to the table for you to do and enjoy.

Also is that what everyone want too?

Who has that kind of life and mind really at the end? I guess it is still to do what you want in the West and keep going.

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Working with everyone is important and not black and white really I think.

I stagnated growth doing my thing until I worked with other people around the world.

Isn’t that life?

I guess you work on things who you just click with and go from there.

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You have to expand your mind at old, old age.

Younger people don’t expect that.

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I am just learning how to learn and live. At my old, old age now things are different.

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Interesting thing today. I went to the bloodwork centre for a family member. These are the things I learned:

• You can compete with other people but you have to keep it “meta”. Young people compete on the 1-layer.
• You can just do your thing and see what happens. That is the only thing you have because at the end that is what happens to create something new. Don’t go hand-to-hand fighting people because that is 1-layered usually. If you can you can. A calm place with global understanding of the world will create something in your zone with your friends.
• When you get old, people want to be healthy and smart and not get sick and live a long life. So the reality is to get smarter and more engaged in doing what you like with your friends. This is especially true at old, old age.

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It is 50 years after the Vietnam War.

What do I think being old, old now?

Well I got to a point where I work with Ben Cybulski doing web site projects. I am grateful for this opportunity to grow beyond my previous dreams.

I moved beyond doing my thing and started collaborating with Ben and more people. I even used AI to help create images. I moved beyond the 1-layered exchanges with people.

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Vietnamese from Vietnam have this cool thing about them. Most males actually try to help one another think, work and do.

I did not really get enough support when I was younger. I tried to wing everything on my own in the Western atmosphere.

One way to look at my way of living was to figure out how to live in Western society. But older now, how to do thinking jobs.

But I learned from Vietnamese from Vietnam males that we can help each other think broader and bigger.

Especially when I am old, I learned a bit working in Oshawa, I can share some tidbits of experience from working with Ben Cybulski and Allan Lane.

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Another thing about being old and Vietnamese, I learned to help as much as I can to develop positive thinking and relationships with other Vietnamese.

Other cultures may compete and think broadly about the whole race and competing dynamic. Also it is a mixture of the two.

But you got to support and also talk about the Western way too to build better.

At the end we Vietnamese share a similar thinking at bottom baseline. We try to elevate it and think better.

Some people make us think positive, some at the baseline, some negative and some talk like old fellas.

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At the end as a Vietnamese guy, I am just learning how to live and work in the West.

I learn from other people and other cultures and also my own people which help me a lot. Especially when they are in the West.

I say everything that is on my mine online. This can help others grow and learn from me.

I am growing as I blog and do things with Ben and my team.

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How do I think like a southern Vietnamese person?

I think like other Vietnamese born in Canada I think. That is good and bad because …

Well I think my way and learn from smarter people and incorporate that somehow.

I learned a great deal from Vietnamese from Vietnam.

Some Vietnamese think so different from me and from Western people I think. And that is so helpful.

Does that mean further zoned out studying to reach better thinking?

I met some Vietnamese from Vietnam that make me think so much better. It is amazing how different people and cultures can help shape how Western Vietnamese think.

I am amazed.

Anyways, after socializing and learning from others, I still think my way somewhat modified???

But that is the answer, to be amazed by others. At the end you just can not be amazed.

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If there is conflict then usually walk away. But think meta.

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At the end the parents of my Vietnamese friends from Vietnam understand me.

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Because I have Vietnamese friends from Vietnam and they understand the dynamics of me born in Canada I can finally understand how to socialize Vietnamese way and they can help me understand my shortcomings.

Therefore, I can grow and help back.

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I understand now how people view me in society now. It is 99.999999999% negatively stereotypical and bad as an older slightly overweight Vietnamese guy here in Oshawa and including Scarborough. I seem to get a lot of negativity which is normal for coloured folk in the West.

That negatively runs in the fabric of society for people to compete and try to live better. But most people like to see get the negative outcome of it. Only when you are old like me you sit there and wait and see what happens to negative projections and debate meta. When you are old, old you think “what now” after being negatively treated so that upsets everything because both parties understand each other now after initial reactions.

I only got here because of Ben, Allan and Dmitry. They taught me skills and to think, think.

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I also realized there are 2 types of people in society. The positive thinkers or old people and negative people.

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People want to see negative people.

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Because I am from the south part of Vietnam and from An Giang I think plentiful and neutral.

But also because I am old, I am like what???

That is the thing about being 41 years old. There is the initial thinking and natural thinking and then their is what you have thought about and done thinking.

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There is thinking and trying to think more forward. The goal is then to think more forward by interacting with more and more forward people. That is what some young people don’t get.

I need to think and do more to get more forward. I guess that means just doing my thing.

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A lot of people don’t understand you have to build to be healthy. That is the thing. You actually have to build. The act of building is health. That is what my siblings don’t understand that well.

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Everyone knows the answers to life when they are young I think. But people get muddled up at young age to think bad. There is a lot of help and remarkable people out there where you can cling to and work with to have positivity.

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In Mississauga can I have a OK life among the other Vietnamese? Yes, I think. It is hard living out here in Oshawa.

How about North York?

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At the end of the day, I think other Vietnamese born in Canada suffer as me. Suffering is normal. You just got to zone out and do your thing really to have a good life.

But doing what I am doing with the team is stressful. It is the most positive path for growth which everyone needs.

I need a year off I guess lololol and to socialize with other Vietnamese born in Canada for positive growth.

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In 2018, I was just whatever … Now Ben helps me. That is really interesting.

I finally got friends who are on my same frequency. That is interesting how life works out.

People are nice and jovial with each other face to face then people fall into their friends at the end when they get home.

So I guess life is to fall back and work with your friends at the end of the day.

But the really hard thing to grasp is growth now.