Updates (February 5, 2025)
It has gotten to a point where there are no more opposite thinking. The only way to live properly is to keep working and be busy.
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Life in the West, is based on stereotypes … at the end of the day as an Asian man, it is to keep busy. Whatever I do is pretty different from mainstream. At the end of the day I do what I can and it isn’t the same as others or the majority. So all I can do is keep busy.
Busy and working to keep everything in order and healthy. Keep busy in mindful and above and aware and present. Arms length away and slightly above.
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Probably one healthy way of living is to be a technician but still do programming on the side as a hobby. Does that really work? Like fix the same stuff everyday? I don’t think so really as you constantly have to learn both at the technician job and programming. You can only do one.
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At the end of the day as a 40 year old man, life is just to keep busy. Study and learn until you get something of $$$ value.
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Cool thing about being 40 years old and having some accomplishments and skills is that I mentor younger people into doing what I am doing. I am in the middle. Learning from Ben and others while mentoring the younger generation. I guess when you get to 40 years old you have that position finally.
Luckily my parents are busy bodied people and forced me to learn, and not I have this thinking and helping and doing position. It is a guy thing I guess to be 3 things:
- Learner
- Doer – constant climb and practice
- Teacher
After getting the teaching position, life makes sense. Life is full. You are helping others and it makes you manly and have the “provider and guidance purpose” of life.
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Sometimes I browse Facebook Marketplace to look for CPUs, GPUs, etc. I wonder sometimes what the sellers do? They have some computer parts I am interested in and what kind of computer activity do they do? Are they programmers doing some cool unique work? Are they engineers? That is why Canada is fascinating place to live. You meet tons of people doing exciting things.
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What gave me stress for many years was knowing enough to make money … Then I realized it is like impossible to know that much. Some people are born immensely smarter. Some people have better opportunities. Some people have the option. Therefore instead of feeling less, just feel gratitude and normal. No one knows that much unless you are 80 years old.
A lot of people judge because that is normal to make themselves feel good and right and they just project negatively and control the narrative and introduce problems.
Good thing I finished school back in 2023 and learning all about life now.
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I realize this now: Life is to become a teacher
- Yes I am 40 years old. I learned a unique skill that helps a lot of different things. It is one of the ultimate skills which is programming. What can I do with this diploma?
- I can teach other students wanting to learn a basic 2-year college diploma in computer programming. But it took me from 2009 till 2023 to finish it though. I had to build up my skills and experience to attempt it. I can teach that.
- I can teach people how to build software products. I can go through the process of step-by-step building from scratch products to full products.
- I started building simple programs in 2014 and did more in 2020. I grew my skills overtime and eventually had solid software in 2021. It takes a lifetime for me. I can teach that. It is the ultimate sacrifice. Now the products are well known worldwide.
Now I have people younger than me asking me for help and guidance. At first I thought I was wasting time helping others, but helping others grew me. I was learning from other people, their perspectives and lifestyles and intelligence which helped with me growing horizontally. I have wider perspectives and health and self-esteem now.
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I am not just a doer now, I can teach people younger than me to realize this new truth. You are supposed to grow up doing school, work, harder work, hardest work, build projects, build unique products and then get hopefully recognized then younger people will come to you looking for a role model and help.
This was all because of my mom. She pushed me to follow my dreams into studying computer programming. And finally I did what I liked.
The solid goal of life is to become a wide range teacher. It makes you feel so mature, good guiding others on your path. Your path is unique if you did it your way. People will try to learn and emulate your path. You won’t feel at a loss helping others as you can learn from others too. I used to be scared of wasting time. But everyone can learn from each other especially in computers.
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The problem of the West working lifestyle is that if you don’t do your scholarly dreams then you might end up regretting it.
Since 2017 when I was 33 years old, I tried out programming and now I am helping the new generation in their 20s learn this. That is the most fulfilling thing in the world. That is what makes life good to teach others to do what you are doing.
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The problem with what I am doing from normal education pathway is that I did it differently by me being Vietnamese born in the West and working with the greats like Ben and Dmitry.
I should teach my way to help others get this type of accomplishment because it does mean something for some people like my friends I am tutoring.
I think I am fulfilled now being an actual teacher for other people born in the West. Vietnamese from Vietnam don’t need this guidance because Vietnam has its own education system and culture the promotes learning and independence early on I think.
I am helping people born in the West to achieve goals like me because the narrative born here in the West is sometimes murky and not clear cut and takes tons of learning and experience to get here.
Vietnamese from Vietnam might not see or understand the feelings growing up here and how the products I created were made in the frustration and growing up in the West.
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You have to find a purpose in life in the West that can help a people that want what you want. In the West life can be really messy with everything already established. Therefore, you might take the building approached and build out things that satisfy the soul. Find a niche. There are other Westerners and colored Westerners that see this and want to grow this way like you.
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I wonder what other Vietnamese born in the West have done to fulfill their Western spirts? I wonder that is the limit and how far they are willing to achieve things. What is their definition of life and health in the West?
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I realize other Vietnamese born in the West have the same problems as me growing up. They are faced with too many options and in excess.
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When I was in normal school, life was just theory and academics. When I went to work for 2 years midway through university, I then understood people dynamics and never wanted to go back to school really. I could not get what I wanted as a Vietnamese born in the West right in schools until I figured out now that I had to write my own story and now am teaching the new generation how to navigate my channel.
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I realized because I have younger people learning from me now, that the Western way I did was right all along.
Now can I be a teacher now? This will give me the most happiness.
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What is success working in programming? Is it using Elementor to make websites? Is it working for a local company? Is it working for FANG?
I guess now since I have tried to do custom web development it is actually trying your best then realizing it might be more realistic to do more backend development.
Maybe it is more important to try out Elementor first? Not really. You don’t get the customization you need for clients.
Maybe in life as a programmer you learn and learn and learn and learn until you can do website finally and THEN LEARN AND LEARN until forever.
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I have this problem where I see the problem of more constant learning. I guess this is what I experience. Maybe my genes or the way I was brought up.
If I just do what I want, then its no problem. As long as I am doing something it is not bad. I am learning overall.
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There is two faces in the West for an Asian guy like me … but it is really one.
When I go to Scarborough, I am pretty much just another Asian person. There are race dynamics in play BUT because I am old now it doesn’t matter. I look like an old man.
In Oshawa, I am just an old coloured person who must use their brains all day and think with the majority. This one take precedence at the end of the day. When other coloured people start asking questions about this and that and what at your core you believe, this one comes on top.
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What do I have as a Vietnamese person? In this materialistic and biased world, I have my thinking and software. Some other people deny this and just see negativity. That is what you are supposed to arise from and see within. Some people are so young and inexperienced that they do not see this and just have their bias and culture. It doesn’t help no one.
Therefore, I guess I walk away and do my thing and ignore negativity and biased people and the overall thinking that takes away individual thinking and growth.
I can do this I find now. What I do is right and normal.
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