Updates (January 28, 2025)
I used to blame others for my problems. Then I realized the go-go culture of the West made my parents and myself unsettled. Things like getting skilled, getting a high paying job, getting a house, car, children, RRSP and then grandchildren was all that resided in the mind.
I did not have time to think. But then you realize everything is pretty much OK here in Canada. It is just your parents who do not have exposure to people who have more ability than others like meeting Ben Cybulski.
If everyone had the chance to look at different abilities of people, then they would not judge or pressure anyone or influence anyone really. It is just a range and depth out there in the West which is accounted for by the government and supports.
My parents think they know a lot but they don’t really. So they pressure their children to go out there and work hard to understand hard life. But they live isolated and keep to themselves. I guess that is the funny thing about life and life here in Canada.
Lots of people don’t bother or never gotten the experience to work with the range of people out in the West. Some people are wrapped and stressed up in their mind and lives that they don’t bother or can’t see more. Even some people are even egotistical and don’t bother about others and are so set in their beliefs. And also there is culture. Some people live in their ethnic groups in the city and never bother walking outside their community. I am lucky living in East GTA where it is not just one ethnic group.
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I guess one way to look at life from my parents point of view is that to just complain.
Some people have kids early on in life and tell their children to go get education and reach. The parents push their children for more and more education until what??? They might get too old and get tired and won’t have kids ?!?!?!?!
I got 2 papers and some experience. I guess I can work basic and have a family and complain like my parents. At least I will have kids. Work shouldn’t take over my life???
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I went to Scarborough the other day and this is what I learned at this point in time:
- Some people label and are pretty set in their ways … Now I understand why it is healthy and unhealthy living there. Some people thrive in the judgements and break away. I did not grow up in Scarborough and found the openness of Eastern GTA in Durham Region allowed me to grow without fixed labelling. I allow myself to be labelled openly. But whatever … I still do what I want.
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I found out now finally that everything is negative labelling. People expect the worst from everyone. If I listen to the negative labelling I can not do any work here in Canada. That is the culture here. I got to work with same frequency friends for now I guess. The trick is that I worked with Ben and everything is changed.
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I guess my life on the whole is that this is what it is. I use my brain. That is the life of a colored person like me. Some other cultures fight me and don’t want it this for me …
I took the time and worked with Ben. This is real life. There should be no opposition.
This is at the farthest perspective. There is no other opinion after this …
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One thing I am realizing is that work now these days is so hard. I take my time to do the work. Having a thinking job is really different.
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I need to be more healthy and work more with nicer people to have anything healthy and good now I see.
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Being creative and developing takes all the energy out of you. Need to stay healthy and positive.
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If I don’t do a thinking job, life could be harder …
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The goal is to make full pretty customized web sites. After you do that you are golden??? That is the goal that will give you elbow room.
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How to think peacefully as a Vietnamese person born in Canada?
I have a friend AH from the school here in Oshawa. He spends his days doing what he likes and currently is doing a PhD at Ontario Tech. He grew up in the north of Ontario and taught me how he lived. He just takes his time as he is doing something he loves and something so great like a PhD. He doesn’t let other people from whatever culture affect him. He is doing the best he can as a Vietnamese born Canada.
I did not realize how much work thinking jobs are. Including what I want to do. For an average person and a Vietnamese person there are many things you need to consider and do to get working and have a good life. School and taking your sweet time is necessary. I did not realize this until I met other Vietnamese born in Canada in my shoes. They have outside work experience and showed me it is a heap.
I slow down now.
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The problem living with your parents at old age are their demands. AH is just taking care of himself I guess and living a nice life doing things independently and not relying on help. Learning to grow as a person. That is the thing. You are supposed to have a normal life of school and then work hopefully if you can. School first all the way to PhD.
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Computing does these things:
- Probably the most masculine thinking
- Good for ego
- Healthy
- Great Western thinking
- Also great Vietnamese thinking
- Learn the depths of the mind
- No one can say bad things about you
- It will make you the most money. Whoever is not doing it don’t understand the benefits. If they aren’t making you money or providing you a job then their opinion probably ain’t worth much. You realize this later how complex it is.
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When immigrants have lived in Canada/West long enough they have to play this game of getting along without stating their negative opinion. I know how to play this game … This game is outside.
Working with Ben shows you how large this space is. How much room you can talk with.
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With more immigration. there is more of the general stereotyping being done. You see more stuff on the news. That is why it is important to get educated and busy.
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I see life as this really: Do what you like naturally or strive and reach. I can not really complain.
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When doing your thing, that is it exactly, you are doing your thing. Some people don’t understand that or do they?
Anyways after so much negative projections out in the real world I realize they don’t really fade me. I am learning from them and see how they might shape me.
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Today I went to the bank, I had a older lady negatively project to me because she wasn’t a really happy person.
Then I realized this again but again firmly, more iteration …
What is life in the West? Working doing web development is fine. It is broad, creative and does something fine for the soul and mind. It is productive and practical. You can practice doing it to understand work, tedious work, long-term work, work overall in the modern West. It is something, but really stressful. Probably too stressful and probably built for the best. But really in this world, in the darkest light, it is what you do with your mind. Fine-tuning and being creative for the ultimate reasoning and life in the West.
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What do you do as a Vietnamese born in the West? You can only go one way.