Updates (January 26, 2025)

I guess if you look at my life it seems good now.

It took 40 years to get this far and now I am pretty comfortable.

But anyone can do it … just don’t get in trouble and use your common sense and intuition.

Study, work and keep learning so one day you can do cool stuff with people. This is the only way. Only way for me as a Vietnamese born in Canada.

Now I see my life is OK now. No need to analyze it this way or that.

I proved a point. I proved my point.

So many naysayers in my life. So many underminers.

But this is life and Canada. You have to keep going or else get sick and tired and hopeless. At the end just concentrate on yourself and your joys.

The more naysayers and underminers should make you change though only if you have people of the similar background showing the same struggle.

It was the Vietnamese born in Canada showed me they too had the same naysayers and underminers growing up. That is the things that will propel you, common struggle.

We all struggle and we have to do something to show something as we have this Westernized mindset overhanging.

We all have to do something. At the end of young adulthood reaching middle age we all change.

Life then isn’t determined by the media or youths. Old age self development and growth now.

People from other cultures do and see this at the end too. Just takes time or it is not their turn yet. When they get old they will meet this road.

…

One of the greatest things I learned studying at my hometown college was that one professor taught me how he lived and it clicked. It was pure wisdom.

He said he just does what he can. That is all there is to life.

At my point reaching this far now, I see that. I have gotten a working level of skill now so I can feel comfortable now. Instead of pressure and rushing, I do what I can now. It is because I feel pretty skilled and knowledgeable now.

That is what people don’t teach. To feel this comfortable in life is to continue to learn and grow and become skilled enough so you feel good and capable in the modern world.

That is why people who have the title ‘full stack developer’ seems alluring for everyone.

…

I used to worry about other people so much.

But when I finally got to the level I want, then I saw people change. .

After seeing what people naturally felt underneath the smiles and giggles, I realized these things with people:

1. Trying to do good things is what propelled me. But at the stark end of it met with jealous people. People are learning from each other to do better in life here in Canada really. But when you work with the greats then that is the game changer. Not fair but what else to do now? Anybody can do the same if they really try to do good things and eventually work with great people.
2. After seeing the negativity and control from others and enduring it for awhile, you realize you still do what you like since you were like 10-12 years old. You can not be under someone’s thumb.
3. What is intelligence really? I guess it is the 12 year old person inside of you now. After getting the skills and knowledge, I am cemented. Now I just do what I did when I was 12. That is the funny thing in life. Once you get enough socialization in your field, then you are cemented doing work and doing your thing. You stop caring about what other think of you because they don’t have the same exposure and stress as you to working and living like you. They are not working with Ben or Dmitry. They did not study for 40 years. They did not have a choice like I did. But at the end this is the modern life. You have to learn and grow to be healthy in the West. You realize life in Canada is different for everyone. What people project means nothing at the end of the day. You keep enduring the negativity and judgements from others but you know you only.
4. At the end of 40, I realize people are just born different too. In the West people stay home alone. What do people do alone? That is what makes people different.

…

What I realized about work.

You really got to squeeze every penny. You got to be more flexible and less expensive than Wix or SquareSpace in web development to make money.

That sounds like a harsh reality. But after a year, you realize that is life and a good challenge to improve yourself and to learn. You have to flip the script.

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What I learned about people is that people think negative all the time and project negativity. This is normal. After a while as a coloured person in the system you realize you have to flip the script. You believe now that you have things to do, you are hardworking, you are busy. People judging you don’t understand they are being lazy??? at the end. But at the end people change to be hardworking after being tormented so much. People reach a breaking point where they have to work hard. People have to flip the script.

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That is the thing I did not realize, I did not realize 2 important functions to live my life:

1. Socialize with Vietnamese born in the West. They all suffer with you being negatively stereotyped and not picked because of the system. We all like to improve but other people have their limits and put you below them. Working alongside Vietnamese born in the West, we can do something for ourselves without people limiting us. There is such thing as culture and community. I should of embraced it sooner. Now I have a stone to push from.
2. After so much negative judgement and treatment. Bad treatment currently doing what I normally do, it comes to a point that what people say and do to me is meaningless. People have to grow and do stuff. No one can limit growth. People just grow normally. Especially at middle-age and when they have done enough. That is the odd thing about life in the West and established people. People in the West and established people label and put everyone in negative stereotypical boxes. They want everyone labelled below them. That doesn’t work though. Everyone is different and things do change. I grew up with the Western mindset of this negative narrative. But when you get old you are alone and don’t care about anyone who thinks this. That is why old people walk and do things alone away from general society. They don’t want to deal with judgment and scrutiny. I have been judged a lot. I know first hand how this works. But it doesn’t work when you are old … After a while you separate from the negative system and are in your own world.

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Instead of the judgements affecting me, I realize I am just different now after years of socializing. Socializing with like minded individuals showed me how I think naturally in the West.

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After socializing with more Vietnamese born in the West, I realize everyone is kind of doing their own thing.

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Understanding the Vietnamese society in the West:

• Most Vietnamese have the same lifestyle really in the West. They aspire for the same things as each other. They want their kids to have stable professional jobs.
• Not many are 40+ years old doing things on their own as they are not that old that yet. We are new comers to the West. It has only been 50 years for Vietnamese people in the West after the Vietnam War.
• There is a new 30-40+ year old group of Vietnamese doing their own thing in the West that other and established people are now seeing. This new group are determined to do things different and their own.

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I did not socialize with Vietnamese born in the West enough to know now that we are really cemented together? We have dreams and wishes and goals that differ but are together. I wasn’t determined until I met Vietnamese born in the West. Socializing with them I realize I want and want to do things to show and define my way that hopefully will be accepted.

That is the thing I did not realize growing up alone in Canada. Other established groups put forward how I should act and how my group should act. That down control did nothing for me to grow up in the West. It just stopped me.

The more I butt heads with people at 40+ now, I see and do and evolve my own way.

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Realizing this solidly now. There are 2 types of Westerners:

1. The one that asks you and waits patiently how do you think in this world/universe.
2. …

Can apply to anyone. But yeah …

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I finally got the intelligence to be able to handle my parents demands. It took computer programming and socializing outside with people. I don’t get hurt when my parents scold me.

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It seems the American way is good. Lots of work, some chaos, most things work, tireless working to achieve something great. All about work. Achieving a great common universal goal. Almost impossible goal and always reaching. Set the pace and everyone together.

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Learning to take care of someone is what life is about. But for Westerners it is about work???

Asian people usually just talk about having a job and having a family and making money. Save a lot of money for their kids which is pretty bad. Doesn’t teach hard work ethic? But is working hard a societal thing? When you are born in the West, your job is determined by other things than your individual culture. It is about the boss and Western culture. It can be good or bad.