Updates (January 22, 2025)

I reached this point …

• Done some real work. It took the 2nd attempt. Comfortable after resting for 5-6 months.
• Work is so hard if there are deadlines and an unreceptive boss/client. Therefore, I see that life is really to do research and do passionate work in the West. I studied lots of things in my life and got pretty skilled. Working for people doesn’t make any sense as they don’t see what you see and feel here in the West. Especially when you are skilled and have the Western opportunity then it doesn’t make sense to do work, work, work and live under a mountain of stress that will harm you in the short and long run. Does working culture matter?
• People are limited to what the media puts out really. When you are categorized and labelled in the public because of your race then it doesn’t make sense to really work out there in the public and still get labelled and boxed in. Therefore it is doing “research work” and working with people who don’t place you in boxes for their benefit. It is freeing and exhilarating to do what you like without the overhanging clouds and fog. People do get old and think different at the end. That is the human experience.

At the end of the day it is “whatever”, but do “something” and ignore naysayers and negative people. You can not really prove, prove a point. Just kind of coast and do your thing in the West. There is nothing to worry about.

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After a while (what my mother says), you realize the segregation in the West is bad. You have to claim everything as even. Don’t claim anything as this or that and just live. People need each other.

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There are people, then there are great people. How much do you claim that you did something worthwhile in the Western perspective? If you got so much help and the push and the mindset from great people? I guess great people help people.

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Cool things to think about:

1. I spent 40 years studying in the back of my mind kind of and lived a little.
2. But I did not excel until I worked with Al from AMLCSL and Ben.
3. If I did not listen to Al to do just coding and just use my brain then life would be routine and bleak …
4. I guess my life was a growing experience with working with higher people who saw unlimited education and unlimited thinking and unlimited opportunity. I kind of knew this a little but they opened life up and said what it is and possible in the flesh. Took years from 2018 to now.
5. In the process of life, I met a of different thinking and views. But at the end it was Al and Ben who really showed what life could be like. And continue to.
6. But all this is just an addition to a normal life? It is pretty meaningless … In Canada, people can get by OK. So is this addition really a part of life? You don’t need it to live … Things really changed and took on a different new definition when you worked with great people. Also a great thing of working with the greats is that there is no burnout. Everything is new and fresh. But I realize old Western people expect this … They expect you to grow and offer something or else no respect …

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The reality of life in the West to impress the West is to have the mindset of Al from AMLCSL and also Ben. Doing continuous work and also “out there” work extends your consciousness.

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After all the general stereotyping and judgement a person has towards another, what is the “resting thinking”? And what is the goals of the person?

I finally got to that point now.

It is not about fun and enjoying a nice restaurant dinner. What is the goals and thoughts does that person have.

And that is what makes a person really. That is what makes a mature old person … respected.

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I am old now? I can act old now.

I went to the health center and acted old and people just accepted it. I guess that phase comes with experience and knowledge. I did not act hip. I just acted old. Walking, drinking my coffee, taking care of business.

People let me do what I want as a old person without questioning me. I am acting like a old person doing old things.

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After getting this point in life, I can really turn off my brain and sleep now. I don’t think I was socialized enough being a Vietnamese man born out in east GTA. I did not have people to talk to, to relax and take baby steps in my growth. I can just live like a normal Vietnamese born in Canada now and mind my own business.

Before, I felt squeezed and in a rush out here in east GTA because people label and judge. In the comfort of other Vietnamese born in Canada, we don’t care what people think because we are also Canadian thinking and living. That is the trick. We live like Canadians doing whatever we please for the health. Not squeezed and pressured like international students to get PR/citizenship and a 3 story house, car and huge paycheck in 5 years.

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The worst part of not socializing with your own people is the expectations and judgements from other groups that persist all day when working together.

The other groups just know so little about you and your people and constantly defend themselves if you “show anything”.

When I started socializing more with my group and finally grew into an individual person with unique growth and then excelled in my own thinking and craft then other people respected me. It took socialization with my group of Vietnamese born in Canada.

Growing up in Canada as a Vietnamese person without your group causes so much stress and anxiety. I suffered unnecessarily. Vietnamese people born in Canada actually have no stress really. They take life day by day because they can.

If I socialize with Vietnamese overseas or other Asian groups there is this barrier of why aren’t you doing what I am doing and trying to go fast. The overseas and other Asian group think they are in the right but they are not. As a Vietnamese person born in Canada I am expected to respect the Canadian ways of thinking and life first outside.

Living with overseas people and other Asian groups is horrible as the Asian culture of comparing and competition come into play. You can not juggle two extreme points of view. The cross each other out. Or they can also limit each other.

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I am coasting now in life and have little stress now because I constantly socialize now with with Vietnamese born in Canada. We understand each other and take our time for our health.

Also I think I accomplished a lot in life now and can relax now and coast learning and doing. It took so much time! Now my brother and sisters can now learn this and socialize with Vietnamese born in Canada.

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I went to a medical center today for my brother, I realized it is good to have educated yourself and developed yourself because you can now interact with people in healthcare better.

Not many people expect a person to have developed more than college or a 4-year degree. When medical professionals see that you are out of the general pathway they do notice and are curious.

Some medical professionals are continually educating themselves. But going on a tangent is really new but it is expected. Living in the West you should definitely do more really. People are amused really when they see something different especially in medical centers. Supposedly, health professionals have seen it all.