Updates (December 20, 2024)

I guess living day-to-day and getting partly involved got me here.

I studied and explored a lot and now things are OK.

I always knew in the back of my mind I had to study and do stuff to learn and do. Now I am able to handle life better and do quite a bit of things. Relieves a lot of stress being able to do quite a bit of stuff. You aren’t worried about not being able to tackle any job really.

Now I got to the point where nothing really bothers me except for ‘young’ and immature people. But I look old with wrinkles and grey hair now. They ignore me 90% of the time. So that is good.

Most ‘Canadians’ understand me now. I am a middle-aged Asian looking guy who knows what’s up.

That is what people don’t tell you when you are born growing up here.

People say just study and do what you like. At the end you just know one thing OK enough and not really good at other things. So you are kind of inept.

At 25 years old you see how much learning life requires to do a ‘big project yourself’. It takes like ~20 years of real work experience to do something alone really. Or you really have to start young.

I don’t like shopping no more, I just grab my coffee at Tim’s mainly. In grocery stores you meet young people under 35 years old questioning you and what is your ‘beef’.

Yes, I studied for 40 years and am able to do quite a bit of things. I look healthy and confident and able. Not many people expect that …

I had to too.

It is hard to find work. The work at the end is hard but also rewarding. You at least get the rewards.

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I used to care so much for the last 40 years.

Now that I skilled up and reflected a lot and also realize that the ideas and projects worth doing are Ben’s ideas I can relax.

I can really take a back seat and stroll.

As a man you are born with nothing really. You have to build yourself from the bottom. That is the reality of being a man. Also being coloured you have to deal with race, culture and the Western perspective against and with the coloured perspective.

Being coloured only other Vietnamese born in Canada see your struggle. I only am 100% understood by other Vietnamese born in Canada.

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What I can tell now after reflecting and relaxing for 1+ years:

• The way I live and conduct myself for the last 15 years (after university) was to grow and develop uniquely and to get out of mainstream conforming. It does nothing for me to conform 100%.
• You see the already established people try to maintain their culture and power but most of the time it’s stereotypical. Only after you tried to work on yourself and do something unique after university you have something to differ and compare and add. Most already established people just do the same stuff hoping it will work for the next 10,000 years. New immigrants and new refugees if left alone to grow and develop may have something to add if they really work to learn from others and transform themselves.

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What I am doing is good for me. There is lots of rewards doing what I am doing.

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I think what I have learned and done so far is a normal part of growing up. You don’t want to stay a teenager. Also you don’t want to be treated poorly.

You learn and grow.

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https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDzLVZHvqnz/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Doing normal stuff is OK. But it may be unhealthy. That is just the way it is.

Somehow you got to rise above it and contain it?

Anyways you live to have good health at the end.

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https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDy8JKdtQI1/?igsh=MTIybDExNmV0cTA5Mg%3D%3D

This is life.

I got to think 10 years ahead.

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I went to the hospital for my mom. Ultrasound.

Patients there are unwell. No one is happy. Everyone has a problem. Everyone has an illness.

There is no room for any ‘you’ problems.

That is healthcare.

I finally get healthcare now. After working on myself for so long and getting space to think and do, I finally get healthcare.

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The other Asians in healthcare: Most studied a lot when they were young to get a professional healthcare job. They fit that “type” to get there. You are born into it really.

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When I was in healthcare, I did find the people similar to me. But once in a while while strolling around the college campus and outside walking near it, I was criticized for my choice on why I did not live for myself and live below my means so I could do something great from other colored people in Scarborough. You have only one life to live and ‘you’ are coloured. Might as well make your life count??? Nice fellow coloured people thought I should be doing something else because they saw I can have something going on if I just lived for myself and found like minded individuals. It is simple like that.

But it is tough out there. To try to live and have a family and assets requires you to conform sometimes.

But when you have educated yourself this much, returning back to healthcare is something else. You see that even healthcare can be narrow.