Updates (December 16, 2024)

I did not program for a while and I feel bad.

Working with Ben Cybulski is great. His ideas are cool and makes you go.

As a man, working like this is what you need in life.

After you done what you wanted in life personally, it is all cool growth like working with Ben.

It seems odd going back into the real world by yourself doing normal things after working with Ben.

You try to grow but it is normal stuff.

I guess I can do normal growing things now.

I think I should develop by myself for a bit by myself and see where it goes.

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Socializing and trying to live a normal life is OK … but programming for hours on end seems to be something really good.

The amount of growth and structure you learn from programming is unsurpassed. You can not really grow better or that much more doing normal stuff.

And at the end of the day, we all want to grow and improve our lives. It is bad not to grow and not develop as a person.

What you hear in this culture is to do your 9-5 job and spend all your money. Not much growth beyond that.

To grow, grow and grow, takes a different mindset.

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I realize I have this underlying problem.

I used to be carefree working other jobs.

But now after working in this programming field, the survival and scared mindset is what I have now.

I need to relearn to enjoy my work and hobby again like when I was a teen.

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Doing programming with Ben is great … but I need to live now for myself. I am getting old.

I will see how my mindset in 2024 can change or carry over to a normal job.

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The only way to get treated good all the time in the West, is to be intelligent and mind your own business. People can sense that you are not just ‘some guy’ when you have years and years of real work experience and something personal things going on too. The amount of ‘feel good’ is great when you got something good going for yourself in society. But it takes years to diverge and be unique. Don’t feel bad if you don’t have anything right now. Everything takes time in safe nice Canada.

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All of this thinking and blog posts I realize is the result of growing up BUT really it is working with Ben Cybulski.

For the last 7 years, I have been working with Ben and did so many changes and things.

It is constant growth.

I realized I have been in the ‘zone’ for the last 7 years. Working with Ben changed my mindset to try to think on his frequency.

It is cool and new and more and more. There is no limit.

It is pretty cool stuff.

There is no better growth and cool feeling than working like this.

Is there anything else required for growth? I think this is one of the coolest things to do.

I did not realize what is going on until I stopped programming and working for a while. I was just in the ‘zone’ for the last 7 years working with Ben.

But simply I was a middle-aged ‘computer guy’ who was bored with nothing going on before and now I am working with the ‘greats’. It is simply that.

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When I was working the largest Asian buffet in Oshawa in 2016, the old seniors Asian people working there pushed me out and told me to think and live like Westerners.

There is sensibility in that. It just makes sense to strive and strive and strive here in Canada.

Is it possible? Is it livable?

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There is 3 mindsets you can have as a Vietnamese person born in the West.

1. There Western defined definition. It is pretty bad. It is mainly the negative stereotype that everyone knows and use because everyone defines each other at the negative end of perspectives.
2. The Vietnamese definition. It could be good and bad in the Vietnamese perspective. So many perspectives within the Vietnamese community and everyone is on their own on how they feel and do things mainly. But after 50 years people are transforming.
3. Your natural definition of what you are to yourself in your mind and heart and soul despite what anyone says.

You have to elevate your thinking beyond all definitions to really grow, grow and grow. By knowing yourself at your core you can rise above and jet at an sharp angle to grow and define yourself and think differently, It is a combination of knowing all the normal definitions inside and out and doing practical things day in and day out over time to rise many levels above general definitions. You see the limitations and problems with the general definitions and get tired of them and figure a way away by doing more and working with great people.

The Western definition doesn’t really help anyone if the system is based on ‘labelling all day’ which it is. You really got to live in your head and work with people who don’t define people based on race and culture … They are out there, you just got to post online and show up and see if anyone responds to your energy.

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Good God, I am 40 years old now I really realize now …

I am thankful I took the time to play it safe and work on myself here in Canada while exploring the world a bit.

I am super happy that I transformed by working on myself for the last 40 years and define myself rather than let people label me.

Canada is really a ‘labelling place’ based on ‘stereotypes’. You meet a lot of naysayers and undermining people if you are born here that affects your ‘core’ when you are young growing up. Almost everyone has that box they put you in growing up to hold things down at a constant … Only your parents and siblings won’t label you …

For a person like me who is Vietnamese, I had to get away from the constant labelling in certain areas of Canada to grow and transform better for myself and escape the box. I could do that in Oshawa working with Ben and Al …

Everyone can do that here … just think around labels and find nice people.

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It is normal to talk to my cousins and talk about transformation and getting older and growing. BUT with people in Canadian society it is just classic stereotypes 99.9999% of the time.

So I hang around like minded people mainly???

It is nice to challenge people stereotypes about you. You learn something and can show something of value. The confrontation can foster good change. It should foster growth and good change.

But mainly working on yourself with your same frequency friends can have the largest fastest growth.

Sometime confrontation does nothing. And it is bad. You just have to have the good foundation and background that is larger than the stereotype to counter. It takes years of development to present your case. Years and years of work.

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I learned from my cousin, you always should have control too. In order to do that you need a lot of understanding of yourself. And possibly of the world too and also a lot of real working experience and working on yourself to have that steering. It seems like the more you do, the more control you have. Therefore, do more work, especially hard stuff and growth stuff. Programming stuff and working with the greats is all it is I found for me.

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Most people are ‘blah’ so it is pretty easy to counter labelling if you just try to improve a little-by-little everyday. That is life. This is how to improve in society and the world. Even old people in the 60s and 70s you can counter if you worked on yourself a bit.

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It is pretty hard and easy to do normal stuff because I have worked with Ben for the last 7 years. That is what makes Canada so great! I could take the time to work with the greats here in Canada.

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Socializing has the social factors. Working with your friends and people on your same frequency doesn’t. But sometimes you have to go out there and socialize with everyone. So just work with your same frequency friends for the most part for life and then you can deal with just socialization for the most part. You will have something instead of just labelling and putting people in boxes possibly limiting your growth and ego.

Working normally with people is ok. You grow and learn how to deal with people in general society. But for that ‘unique transformation’ I think you have to grow with the greats and same frequency friends.

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I am sure of life is to escape labels and negative thinking to be your own person. Born in Canada, you are labelled at the get go. Old age is about self-development and rising above challenges and life itself. But really just do your thing. Everything improves as long as you are doing something productive with yourself. Like just do your interests all day. That is really the only thing you can do.

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It seems like when you go out there and socialize it is just the wall of stereotypes. It is normal. ‘Established people’ just do that. After socializing with Vietnamese born in Canada more. More Vietnamese people born in Canada I am meeting. The established people from all walks of life with their stereotypes against you become just a passerby. That is what you are supposed to do.

You are supposed to socialize with same background people and then all the negative projections are completely different and from another world, completely different from another culture. Different frame of window.

I used to get so affected by the established people from all walks of life. Then after I finally socialized with my groups who are my age, I see their projected stereotypes from a different ‘mother’.

Just socialize in your age groups to build that framework and foundation to do your own thing and rise good. Who cares what ‘biased’ people think really. You have your way and it can work good. Something new, good and different is welcomed isn’t it? Or is it ‘boxing in’ people? There is just negativity really and you just have to deal with it. Best to ignore and walk away.

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There is a lot to think about when socializing when you are colored. I did not know this really as I was studying for 4 decades. So the best way to divert social problems is to study for 4 decades LOL! Become someone, become something unique like yourself.

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After socializing with my groups finally, I understand it is a given human right to grow and improve yourself.

You have to ignore people.

Because you have to show up in your groups as an independent individual. The groups you belong in expect it.

I realized this after talking to high school friend who is Vietnamese born in Canada my age. We have to grow and do things or else there is ‘nothing’.

I let myself be defined by the people for the most part of my life. Good and bad. But now I am learning to show up in my groups as an independent man.

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Usually the North American way is to collaborate and work with people to improve one another and challenge each other to do better the Western way. This is if you are disciplined and work with the right people.

But outside the right people it is negative. I guess that is life.

You got to work with the right people at the end and avoid certain people … until they learn.

Not only the Western way is needed but more open minded to see different perspectives and let them run with it to see what prospers and develops.

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I am socializing a lot now and realize this:

1. You have to really study and do the work to try to be smarter than your mentors. Try to be more smarter than your parents, siblings and friends. This way you can think independently and stand your ground. This is opposite from what society tells you. Society is really negative.
2. Teaching work is good because not only is it a ‘job’ but also you learn how to work with everyone and share the knowledge and grow together. It allows you to be balanced and good always.
3. You have to stop and look around. After doing ‘your thing’, you have to look at the world and be realistic to see how to ‘work’. Then you ‘work’ the job you can do in society and help yourself and family and your own family.
4. To avoid the evitable problems of normal life, you really have to work with the greats like Ben Cybulski and others to have that unlimited free pathway for work and growth. Some people never try this and are are stuck and then sick for the rest of their life. But first to do this you have to have done what you liked in life and are bored and looking for more. You have to be stable. You have to recognize this. Trying to work with the greats seems different and not something most people do as you already have your way and problems. You try to and keep going and see where it takes you. You first see this in your family first maybe. Some siblings are stuck in life and then you realize this and change trajectory to adopt growth and transformation.

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The more I get older, the more I realize life was like what I encountered 20 years ago.

Roughly 20 years ago back in 2003-2005, I came back from university in Scarborough home to Ajax, Ontario. I decided to walk home from the train station for the exercise and to relax and to relieve stress. I walked through the industrial area of Ajax on my way home. I saw a middle-aged yellow Asian guy walking to the train station finished work from the industrial area. He was healthy and in good spirits. I was surprised, never have I seen a healthy happy spirited yellow Asian man here in Canada … I walked and saw him a few times. Then one day I projected to him “What is life for an yellow looking Asian man?”. He projected back, it is to study hard and work hard to be proud. There was no secret. There wasn’t any misunderstanding. There was no racism. Human to human, man to man. Now I am middle-aged.

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After socializing a lot now and learning about life, I realize I do have a story.

Also culture matters too. Socializing with other Vietnamese born in Canada allows you to build the Vietnamese-sphere society and community. We have our own thinking and people to think together. It is not bad to have something of your own really. It is better with it than not I realize. You can actually do some new thinking and think new perspectives to create things and change. Socializing with Vietnamese from the Eastern GTA suburbs is what I needed at the end around my age. How I look and feel are unique and valued with my Vietnamese born in Canada society.

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When you are couped up in your room you can really diverge and be unique. Working in groups or a company setting normally, I don’t think you can have that old mature self-development growth without thinking about other people and being worried about your actions affecting others. The crab mentality and conformity can stop self-development I think. I maybe wrong??? Maybe both is needed? Both normal group work and individual work is needed???

Just do whatever I guess. When the time comes you learn and live.

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I can not wrap my head around this completely yet.

I don’t have a 4 year CS degree.

I haven’t programmed for 20 years.

I revisited this video again. This time I understand more about what he is saying.

I guess it is all about more work and experiences and revisiting.

But once you have that 4-year degree + 20 years of experience then you are solid??? Yes I think. It is that 20 year experience you should work on in baby steps.

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Life is getting to a point sometimes where I think it is the mans job just to work in thinking jobs all day for his wife and kids to have the best life. But really??? That is what I feel at the extreme end. But it is not realistic and I think it doesn’t answer or solve life itself. You need different experiences and other things in life too to make life complete.

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Relaxing now, what is happening in the news and the world is the same and on repeat … the real focus for people like me is to do your thing and try to do something unique. Something that comes from within.

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