Updates (December 14, 2024)

I went to help my friend who is Vietnamese from my Ajax hometown.

We discussed life as it was in the beginning in our childhood in Ajax and what it is now.

I realized how the culture of the West affected him and how he worked with and around the limitations.

It took him until his early 30s to become ready for any challenge. It took me until I was 37-40.

I learned from him and told him how people treat me. He understood.

Now I have 2 people who are Vietnamese in the West that understand me 110%.

My life is normal and complete now. They understand me through and through. They understand my struggle. But it is not a struggle …

That is the duality of my life here in Canada. Westernized Vietnamese understand me through and through and accept me for what I am and what I can do here in Canada.

I am finally OK after socializing with Vietnamese who lived most of their life’s in Canada.

All it took was to learn after him and become my unique self, work in my field, work with better people, do tangible cool things that reflect my team, socialize, fine-tune, get noticed, get to work, then live life. Sounds like a lot but I always forget I live in Canada where I can take my time.

All it takes really is to socialize in your field and then with higher people really.

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I have come back to the question a few times already: What is the happiest, healthiest and longest life you can have?

I am 100% sure it is not money here in Canada.

Canada is a capitalist country and drives people to do capitalist work …

But what is it to live really good here in Canada knowing everything that you need to know?

It seems the work that makes sense for the longest, happiest and healthiest life maybe is to some type of teaching while working with greats like Ben Cybulski? How about health care working part time while still working with the greats?

Programming looks to be ok but that field has too much competition for coders who are competitive, competitive, competitive. You can actually learn the most doing this. But I don’t want to code for companies. I only like to code working with Ben and my friends. But that is so much already.

Let try some things out and learn more about life here in Canada. I need money now and I will take the leap to make money.

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The good thing about socializing with other Vietnamese born here in Canada who are old as me is that you finally learn how they deal with negative projections.

My Vietnamese friend in Ajax taught me who cares what other people think because it is not 100% right. He taught me to do the things I wanted and grow distinctly back in 2012. I finally did and labels don’t bother me because people label you negatively because they want respect, power and control over the relationship. People like manning up more than others in the West. Immature and young people do that when they are young. When you get old it is just a small part of life people do.

It is really good to go out there and hear people out and bend in favor of the masses but you should do you and see what it will happen with like minded friends who think in their mind all day to transform things so you have something for yourself.

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I went to Toronto the other day to work and eat with my Vietnamese friend from Ajax. I understood life has not changed that much since I was 10 years old. Lots of stereotyping and generalizations out in public. But I am older with unique accomplished thinking and can deal with it all. Things have improved but some people that are very young have negative stereotypes to protect their dignity. I used to too when I was young which is bad.

But when you are 40 years old and grown with accomplishments, you can counter.

But the stereotyping game is done when you get old as me and you don’t want to deal with young people no more.

It is just working with the greats like Ben on your frequency.

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What do you do with all this stereotyping and power and control in society?

My dad and other Vietnamese ‘old uncles’ here in Canada say just let them. If you relax and get along like your immigrant parents who show respect and humility. Vietnamese do that. Vietnamese should do that.

My life is good here in Canada.

Finally socializing now and more after 40 years of school, life is really nice. You can make even more things positive and fun.

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I realized life if you keep going doing very specialized work, the work can be trivial.

It is best to do healthcare to not have any doubt. Just listen to your heart and provide healthy advice. All you say is just walk 3x a week for 30 minutes at a time, drink plenty of water, read books to keep your mind active, calm and positive and eat a well balanced diet to your patients all day long until retirement.

I will do healthcare. I will try it again.

The software I do is trivial. Should I really do gaming tweaking software to enable people to play more video games? Video games are good and bad.

You shouldn’t make life too complicated and trivial. Healthcare is simply telling patients to take care of themselves. And now that I have worked with Ben Cybulski, you can look at life to further develop yourself in terms of innovative software to help others use technology better. But again I am not Ben. Ben knows what is up.

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I remember talking to a nurse who talked to me how people change their lives for the better.

I recall a story where a guy working in computers changed to become a nurse and it was the right career choice after working many long years as a computer guy.

I guess that is life for me.

I accomplished good things and now it is time to change.

I have to change, things have become trivial. I am not Ben.

When things become trivial, I think I have to go and do something else. Do something that doesn’t bother me or really question my values and morals.

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With the help of Ben Cybulski, it was great to make a name for myself. You can not do things alone really.

Some people who are nice don’t care about applause or accomplishments in life.

But I did it anyways … It helped but seems pretty bad to have to do it to make ‘show’.

I could of done healthcare 20 years ago when I was 18-19 and now I am 40 and tired.

The smarter Vietnamese kids back in elementary school told me to follow them and live their way, the Canadian way, back then. They did nursing and have a full life.

I guess you live and learn.

More accomplishments don’t seem to matter no more. You have to keep that up to feel good and do better and better which is impossible.

I guess it is not bad to be 40 and finally realizing this now. Still young really.

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Also, I realize now after socializing a lot, life is to live a balanced life.

Don’t get greedy and don’t do over.

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If there is stereotypes or generalization that affect you, just hang with your group. I am glad to have more Vietnamese born in Canada now as friends.

I realize we share all the same problems and we retreat to our group if there are not nice people affecting us.

Just socialize with more Vietnamese born in Canada to have something good and forward for ourselves.

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How do ‘Vietnamese uncles’ see me?

I finally got the chance to see Vietnamese uncles in their 70s here (the real 1975 Vietnamese Refugees) in Canada to socialize with me but outside the temples, churches and institutions. Out out in real life just hanging around.

They understand my life and the choices I made till I was 40. I made the right choices for my sake. Everything I did was normal and expected for a Vietnamese born in Canada. I had to do the things I had to and Vietnamese uncles acknowledge and respected it. All it took was to scan Canada and the world and take the baby steps to get there while in Canada.

That is why you should be your culture sometimes. Canada has a cultural mosaic, but it is a caste system really. Both good and bad.

Regardless I had to do the things I needed because of it. But I could have just done healthcare and be neutral and live balanced.

But getting acknowledgement from the real deal Vietnamese refugees made me feel complete. I did the right thing for my mind, body and spirit.

Now onto something neutral. For my sake I have to live neutral now. It is my beliefs and morals.

Because I have that confirmation from established Vietnamese uncles I am OK now. That is all there is to life. Getting the OK from your wise fellow Vietnamese uncles. Not anyone else. The Vietnamese uncles knows the struggle and know how to work in the capitalistic system that favors the hardest workers.

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Because I have this understanding now, I have to factor mind, body and spirit now to see what work I can do in 2024 and beyond.

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I am old now with growth and accomplishments so it was great going out into public in Toronto and seeing the hustle and bustle.

I realize the way I live is good at the end. I compared my natural personality to my old adult one. I am naturally a chubby jolly guy who thinks a bit. I just thought more and deeper and now did goals and accomplishment for myself and to address the stereotypes and worked with the great Ben Cybulski. I also had nothing to do too here in Canada and did more and zoned out doing more.

Some young colored people think negatively and are usually troubled and competitive and ‘biased’. Young stuff. I was too when I was young. It keeps you relevant and prideful. It is there and is something.

Some of the young adults look at me to see what is up with me, They are startled that I carry myself well. They are startled a Vietnamese man can hold himself well. It disturbs them. It disturbs their negative stereotype of Vietnamese out here in Toronto where all social factors are used. But they forgot it is 50 years after the Vietnam War. Things change and I am 40 years old. Not a teen. I am an old fart now.

I was born in Canada and I always knew I had 100% supports here in Canada like everyone else had and there were people on my frequency all around the world. Therefore, I never cared for what negative people thought. I just stayed home and did my thing at the end with same frequency friends. Everyone can do that here in Canada … you just have to find your same frequency friends.

My dad says you are you when you are at home alone. You have to be yourself at the end.

I used to be affected a lot by people at school and at work. But as I am older now I realize what my dad said is the truth, I just do what I do at the end which is just zoning out on the computer.

The young biased people and immature people can not affect me no more. They try too but I am roughly 20 years older than them and see their young ego and biases in their voice and body language. The old people like me are thinking about grandchildren now and not worried about biases.

Time fixed everything. I fixed the Vietnamese stereotype personally for myself. It was pretty harsh outside but I live in Canada so whatever. No one cares because at the end there is the universal thinking of ‘The West’ that everyone knows that makes the bias thinking irreverent.

Every new immigrant/refugee can do the same as me to grow and fix personally the negative stereotype. Just stay at home with your family doing your thing with your same frequency friends who support you and do it for years and years to grow and grow. Then when you are 40 years old you are ‘old, old’ and people look at you old and don’t disturb a nice wise old man who built himself. No longer being punked.

That is the problem with growing up here as an immigrant. You should ignore it and do your thing with your same frequency friends. Too many perspectives. Too many bad perspectives too.

At the end the new fresh immigrants have to do something to reach that good feeling like they made it.

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The old ‘Vietnamese uncles’ is what I need to meet for to socialize with for more confirmation and to build the socialization skills, foundations and good feelings and things to do in the West. It is cultural in your heart and body.

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My dad is right, you are supposed to live a balanced life I see now.

I have had my limit for the past 40 years.

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When you have socialized in a coloured area of the world like Scarborough, it makes you think, think, think.

There is a lot of things going on besides the Western thinking to have to consider.

It makes you grow too. And new things and thinking are done. New experiences and things to revisit.

That is why there is importance in diversity.