Updates (November 30, 2024)

I find it a need to educate yourself very much so.

The other day I went shopping at a computer store here in Canada. I met customers and employees there. I got respected by my knowledge and how I carried myself as a pretty smart person and old man now who doesn’t act childish.

It felt really good. It felt worth it to have educated myself since 2015. In 2015, I worked in Vietnam and the people there told me to improve myself. I got the Vietnamese connection and spirit to improve. I worked in an English center and my coworkers were upset why a Vietnamese man from North America did not try to excel given he had all the opportunities of the world in Canada.

Was it worth it really?

I am still not married with no kids yet.

I could have stayed in Vietnam back then and started a life.

But a part of me wanted to try one last time.

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I guess at the end of the day when you are middle aged, people grow old and there is a subsect of people who really respect and nurture their minds. I used to be so out of whack doing meaningless things all day. I thought I could just live routinely and not grow. You can just live routine though …

You don’t realize the subsect of smart active and healthy people until you become one though. That is the surprising thing you learn in life.

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At the end of the day, working with Ben Cybulski and other smarter people was the way. That is the only way. After you done school and worked, then you mildly actively do stuff and keep at it to maintain your life.

After working on my stuff and getting experienced and tired and plateaued, then I realize after several months of reflecting and doing my projects, life is just to keep at doing something outside working mildly independently out in the real world. Get out there in the real world!

You are just supposed to keep active outside and all parts of you get used. Mind body and spirit. Keep moving.

The main problem with my life before was that I was below average outside in the real world in 2015. I struggled with everything and complained and complained. After school, work and working with Ben Cybulski and others I became a thinker and above average and could make stuff because I had the experience, skills, knowledge and accomplishments.

My life is pretty good being above average in thinking outside.

Now it is just to be mildly active outside to not get stressed out and appreciate and feel gratitude of everything I have in both mind and body and spirit.

The key was to be able to critically think and be positive and proactive. I able to think 1-2 weeks ahead now. That far sight was accomplished by me working hard on myself for the last 9 years.

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The constant barrage of Vietnamese people questioning and pushing me to do more was the changing thing back in Vietnam and here in Canada somewhat.

Everyday on the streets of Vietnam, I was questioned why I was I in Vietnam in a “mixed” feeling way. Vacationing was good for the first month. But after staying for long periods, the locals would ask what I was doing and what goals I have. They expected lofty goals, They expected American educated and business goals.

After the constant feel good but sad questionings, I realized in 2024 that Vietnamese locals in Vietnam wanted the best for me to be smart and active. They wanted me to think beyond normal.

Maybe to think and work all the time!

I guess that “Vietnamese thinking all the time was exciting and worthwhile”. To have goals like a American business entrepreneur was something they wanted and pursued.

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I am not sure what to say about my situation at 40 years old now.

I guess it is to work in the flesh and accept what God has given me and appreciate everything.

I will work in the flesh and see what happens now.

I can not really compete for jobs. Lets see what I can do from now on.

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You can live all day eating pizza and hardly working for years after school if you don’t know what you are doing and don’t have passions that you are pursuing. When you are fed up with it then you try to change and grow.

Then you try and try and try until you reach a point of being able to build. Building is so important I think for me. Having the ability to build will solve 99% of your problems in terms of confidence, skills and knowledge out in the real world.

I tried and tried and tried because I realized I only had myself and could not depend on anyone and did not have good social equity. There was not a really prominent tech company that was Vietnamese.

I needed to build and build and build confidence and social parity with others.

I guess that is all that really matters … having the grit, intelligence and working attitude to have social equity parity with others. This in turn will give me good health and long life.

What else can give me health and long life?

I still don’t get the respect I want. As a man it is just respect that keeps you good and happy.

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But as an average man whose background is Vietnamese, life was just to work with smarter and smarter people like Ben Cybulski.

No one is an island alone. You need friends, family and a community. Right???

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I went working today.

I met older ‘Canadian’ people.

I did not get social parity.

I guess that is life. Trying to improve yourself to get that social parity closeness.

All it takes is to be busy and slightly proactive. And keep at it to be OK.