Updates (November 8, 2024)

The constant imposter syndrome of doing programming is always high.

It does these things to you:

• Always feeling at a loss at the beginning but as you do it long term you feel at a loss understanding larger systems
• You are constantly worried that you can not solve a problem. You think problems get bigger and more complex
• All of this is solved as long as you do coding. Doing the actual work. Being in the moment coding. But I guess you must vent and blog to let off steam and to figure out where you are along the pathway.
• You know this is the right pathway in life doing coding. There is no negativity or shame as long as you keep at this. It is constantly learning so you are improving your life every second of every minute. No one can look you down. It is probably the role that is most continuing.

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After all the criticisms you get in life in young adulthood, the truth of the matter is how do you actually live? How do you live until old age and ultimately death?

I think the most important thing you understand is that you should always keep your mind sharp.

An Phan said that to me. He is probably the smartest person I met.

Just the idea of keeping yourself sharp is the most powerful thing you can do and nurture.

Who doesn’t want to be sharp?

If there was one attribute or quality you want, wouldn’t being sharp be it?

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It seems like when I grow and browse Instagram, I get more tidbits of wisdom ‘reels’ as a venture into life and old age.

I guess that is life. Life repeats itself. Whatever the old people (parents) experienced, you are experiencing at this moment. Life is a cycle. Nothing is really new.

Once you get that, life isn’t really risky or anything really cool or out there. People are just living.

Yes, you are trying to improve things for your family and self, but life for everyone is a cycle of ups and downs. Going for generations. You want to keep your family up there living the good life. But there will be periods and events where things will go bad.

I guess you have to accept that too.

Even your brothers and sisters, cousins and other relatives won’t see what you see.

Even your sight level is constantly growing. No one really sees eye to eye???

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Life is getting to a point where I am stopping socializing with people. I am getting to a point where I don’t need validation no more.

My brother worked for 8 years in a call center for IT support. He understands life is up to you to do and enjoy. I am seeing that now from the Western perspective. This is after I worked and tried to come to terms of how to live after all the criticisms.

There is really no way how to live among society. It is just doing your thing for your health and enjoyment. Hopefully you get to build something good and do something cool and far out there!

Maybe that is all there is to life?

Get to a point where you are doing your own thing and doing something useful one day.

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