Updates (October 15, 2024)
I am learning to socialize more … I am reflecting on life outside school and outside institutions.
Life is bigger than what I like to do.
I need a life now after doing what I want solo for the last 4 decades. I need a strategy how to make money and have my own family in Canada.
But I learned this about programming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ppXi8d4Nos
There isn’t really anything new in software. Everything has already been made before. Programming has been done 70 years ago. Programmers these days aren’t really building anything new.
Does that mean if I continue to learn everything about programming there is a “fixed limit”? I can actually learn all programming things to make me a good programmer in time? It would be sweet to learn all this and be strong and confident at the end.
Before I was scared of continuing programming thinking it would take forever and is a long incredibly steep uphill journey. But software is done??? All you need to do is learn it from examples, books and trial and error while living your life. Then you will be an expert. It is an reachable goal. That is a stress relief for me after understanding this.
I can just enjoy life now thinking I have time. The math and programming geniuses 70 years ago have already laid the groundwork. All I have to do is learn it in time to become someone of good programming talent.
But during my time growing up … teachers and other people and the media made programming seem impossible and I wanted to give up all the time. I guess they don’t understand or are liars??? … What was I being sold??? Who has your best interests?
…
There are 2 faces to living here in Canada. There are two routes.
- You can live forward with Westerners
- You can live in your culture for the most part.
I need other Vietnamese to socialize with to try to have something forward and some basis to talk about common Vietnamese quirks and things. I guess it is socializing with “Westernized Vietnamese” makes all the difference. Mostly the ones born here in Canada.
Living completely coloured is somewhat wrong. It is not 100% fulfilling??? But do you need to live sooooooooooo forward???
I guess your angle and your perspective might be somewhat “you” and important. Important for you.
…
At the end of the day, focus on what you like doing and see who notices:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA-fPzsCvGA/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
You can socialize all you want, but you have to do what you like all day here in Canada to have that enjoyment and growth for yourself. Focus on you. And if your partner thinks that is cool then they are the one???
No need to really collaborate and compete in the outside world here in Canada. Do what you like for yourself and see what is going on. You can really just sit here in Canada and do what you like. As a “Canadian” I can really just sit there and do.
Some people are fiercely independent while other people are 100% collaborators. I am fiercely independent most of the time and do my own thing. I need to do things independently to live here in Canada and for growth and my health.
…
I am fortunate to have my life. I should be grateful.
When I look at my life, I can see others wanting my life. I should be so humble and grateful to have such a life.
…
After living and experiencing everything after school and work and reflecting so much and hitting plateaus (reaching goals and then relaxing), I realize it is all more learning and more work. That is all there is. Living here in Canada is all learning and researching and doing at the end. Only after you reached peak and kept going doing more things reaching more extra goals you made up you realize nothing is really relaxing and fun long term. It is more just learning and researching and doing. Keep at this cycle of doing more to have a healthy feeling and reaching goals. Setup lots of goals. It is all goal setting and brainstorming. Brainstorming more goals.
You really have to zone in and do your thing really.
…
At peak, you stop thinking so superficial. You just think at this point. You can no longer think about people, people no more. You get tired of people’s generalized projections which are mostly negative and stay indoors learning and doing things. You just think all day.
This reel made me think:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBC1fV8udIj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
…
After making software and developing resources, I still get judged poorly LOL! I guess after so much racism and judgement it is to turn inward and focus on doing better and good.
I did not get a lot of judgement before just living a subpar life. Only after I tried doing stuff and putting myself out there, I got really “defining judgement” from people that set me on a path to doing better and building more.
Living a subpar life was what everyone expected of me and my people born and growing up here …
When you really set goals that are larger than life, then people notice the change in you and what you represent. Then you spring into hard work and making things better for you and people that you represent.
Also going the technological route and being creative makes a great solid difference. No one expects that.
…
I am relieved that I saw that YouTube video discussing that software is already pretty much done 60-70 years ago. I can relax now. I will enjoy life more and become more stress free.
I will enjoy walking more, going out more, enjoy that coffee, enjoy that donut, breathe the nice crisp fall air we are having right now here in Canada. I will spend a few dollars more on something I want. More enjoyment.
I will take the time to enjoy other activities.
All you need to do is pick up the books and write the software that gets more bigger and more structured over time.
…
What I learned living in Scarborough in 2019 – 2020 doing college.
There is the Asian way of life. You can live Asian. You aspire for education and do work that supports you and your future family. You go do normal Asian subjects like life sciences to just have a family in the long run. Focus on meeting classic Asian family needs: Healthcare and medicine and classical Asian living.
I think I can do that now too if I separate my life into 2? Or just basically life the Asian way.
You don’t have to be so distinct and do your way all the time. At my age I am tired and need a family of my own.