Updates (September 11, 2024)

I know my social situation here in Canada … It is different from “Vietnam, Vietnam”. Vietnamese in Vietnam don’t understand what I have to go through here in Canada. Maybe the Vietnamese from Vietnam who have lived here in Canada for post-secondary school and worked 2-3 years understand my situation …

But when you get old and look old, you are no longer seen in “the matrix”.

Then you can really think and break free from mainstream opinions.

You can go about your day mostly not worrying about anyone’s opinion because 99% of the opinions are just people’s projections and their “growing up” tribulations. People want to see and reaffirm their believed stereotypes about people and certain groups here in Canada when they are young.

As I am really old now and am ignored mainly, I can freely think now. I don’t feel the energy change in the room when people see me as they just see an “old” Asian Vietnamese man now who is in his old own world. Back when I was younger everything I felt was boxed in and contained in race and nationalities. Now it it ageism. I am basically discarded now.

When you really have worked on yourself and your passions and developed far greater than the stereotypes and generalities you can see beyond race, culture and nationalism of youth thinking. Outside is just like high school but when you are so old, it is just you minding your own business. You got to rise beyond stereotypes. That is what I have been doing kind of for years. Being Vietnamese holds a lot of negative stereotypes in the West. I need to rise above that for myself.

So as an old man now, I just sit in my room in Canada finally doing my own thing without a regard for young adult thinking finally. After so many interactions in society after finishing school and looking old, I can finally feel not judged when out in public or at any place.

It is a great feeling finally. I can improve my wisdom, thinking and knowledge. I can counter basically everything now. I can grow old wise and healthy now. I think that is the whole point of growing …

Some people try to stay young and think young. That is OK too. But there is possibly a limit and you might end up thinking unhealthy if you don’t accept to grow old and wise.

Out working in public, I think people try to stay young and relevant. That is the culture these days worldwide. I think it works and doesn’t work …

But as an old looking man now, I am out of the matrix so I don’t have an opinion no more … I will just enjoy my coffees and enjoy my time here on this Earth. I am content.

I needed to grow old and experience all this here in Canada to move forward and grow and for my health. Took me a while but everything has it’s reasons and time and place. Also I needed to relax and have my enjoyment too!

Also I figured out the people who have my same life experiences here in Canada only understand me:

• Being a child of Vietnamese Boat People Refugees born in Canada
• Being Vietnamese by blood (Southern Vietnamese)
• Doing what I want to achieve Western goals
• Trying to get along with everyone (other cultures)
• Trying to rise above stereotypes and trying to think and see beyond
• Trying to figure out life here in Canada
• Trying to learn out to socialize as a new immigrant in Canada.
• Growing my Vietnamese-Canadian identity.
• Trying to figure out what I am missing, which was finally getting old and getting old looking to get out of the judgmental polarizing young people matrix LOL!!! … “CRT” … I am just an “old man” now LOL!

Also when you get old and old looking and out of the matrix, you finally realize everything you wanted in life was probably achievable (education, skills, degrees, professional careers). The young adult thinking you held before prevented you from growing. You probably held youth biases and people possibly prevented you because they held biases against you. When you are out of the matrix (looking old and thus discarded), no one cares what you do here in Canada.

My older brother worked 8 years full time in IT support in a call center. He matured quicker than me. He is an independent thinker. He learned it by working. I stayed in school most of the time and worked a bit but not a lot in one place to understand it.

Now that I am working, I am understanding independence and independent thinking away from public opinion. Allowing myself to grow and learn.

It is hard to update all the projects. It is tiring but enjoyable. It takes time. You learn and gain so much from doing it. Some problems are hard to tackle but there is enjoyment and growth from it. It is very satisfying.