Updates (February 12, 2024)

Culture: Vietnamese-Canadians have the same thinking and want to stick together – After talking to more Vietnamese-Canadians and what I have been through, I sense we are all on the same boat. I don’t get this exact feeling from talking to other groups. It is the yearning to stay the same for familiarity and comfort and wanting more and possibly something different too.

Work: After everything I feel basically content – After getting published in, I feel like I made it somewhat. Possibly getting a professional degree or job/career would have been OK too. But this accomplishment shows that I followed my gut and passion to reach to the stars. If I never reached to the stars and more polished it, I would have a hole in my mind and spirit.

Culture: Vietnamese I don’t think are like other Asians – In Canada, all Asians act the same? What about Vietnamese who are Southeast Asian (brown)? I grew up in Ajax, Ontario, Canada and I tried to fit in the yellow Asian crowd. But I always felt different from other yellow Asians. I finally realized if I acted Vietnamese when I was 38 years old, I could accomplish things and do things that were liberal and unique. If I tried to fall in line with the Asians, I lost my voice, subdued my spirit and lost my unique personality. So when I am home alone in my room plugging away doing what I am doing, I get stuff done and am happy. I don’t feel connected to other Asians. My dad said we Vietnamese act different from other Asians. I grew up thinking and was taught we were the same as other yellow Asians from classmates and teachers. I try to get along with other Asians but it never works out. There is this community within the greater community and is racially and lookism determined with Asians. It never felt right within the that community. Vietnamese from the South are very independent and don’t have to work in groups. I worked all my jobs in my life alone basically and learned so much and it grew me. Took lots of time to learn everything but I love the independence and singular thinking. I like thinking for myself.

Culture: Vietnamese culture to stay healthy – I have to live my middle adult accomplished version of me to stay healthy. I have to be always learning and stay at the forefront of my studies and interests to feel good now these days. It is not just slotting in the crowd but actually leading things my way to feel confident, strong and healthy and happy. I have to act Vietnamese manly I think to feel good and strong. I only had this when I pursued my passions and fleshed them out fully. Stay ahead of the game. I can not do this while in mainstream culture or following other yellow Asians/other Asians. You have to be entrepreneurial and do your thing for me as a Vietnamese man.

Life: When you get enough life experience and maths everything is achievable maybe – What surprises me at my age? Not much really. It takes a lot of experiences and growing in life to reach a level where you can possibly do a lot of things if you try.

Culture: Born in Canada and looking for friends – I think really ‘Vietnamese-Canadian’. When I am in public I act Vietnamese-Canadian. Deep down I am Vietnamese Southern. Then what do I expect and what do I expect of others? I only really get along with same frequency friends and Vietnamese really. I can say whatever I want and it is not received as concrete or polarized with my friends and Vietnamese which is good and allows for reflection and nice open debate. But I only really get along with Vietnamese-Canadians really really.

Culture: Need to protect your values or there is nothing at all – I have some values that made me strong and healthy. I can not break them really or else I live a life of nothingness. My personal values and culture must mean something.

School: When I finally got programming in the brain, things changed – Out in society now, a person with computer programming knowledge look and see things differently and outside people do notice. Not many people are happy. Certain people like to see others sub-cultured, emotional, down and dumb … It unearths people’s true nasty character when they see some kind of logical smarts. Maths/logic/programming unravels people to their core. Some people handle it well and collaborate but others may fall. I guess that means everyone needs maths. However, the only way I could achieve maths was to do things I liked. That is a different story you can say but is it?

Programming: Doing more programming to do updates for forward thinking Dmitry Nefedov (farag2/sanctuary of Sophia Projects) – All the updates and problems that need done are done. I don’t get huge problematic issues when doing these updates. It just takes time and some debugging. That is a huge relief. Programming is just logical. You will eventually get the solution. Programming became normal. People stopped me from learning programming in my life growing up. They are from a different culture. And now studying and working in the comfort in the city of Oshawa with my friends, I can do what I need without issues really. But I am still doing personal and group projects though. Is doing personal projects a problem??? Hmmm… very interesting life here in Canada. I got to forget some people and ignore them. Those naysayers in my life aren’t part of the forefront mainstream liberal culture though. That could be the main problem I see. They aren’t thinking liberal or being liberal enough. It takes time to become liberal if you aren’t already liberal. I wonder what is their agenda really? It is either liberal or nothing at all really. I am very liberal. I try my best to be liberal as I can. I work with very liberal minded people. All my friends are liberal. I think I should only socialize and befriend liberal people now and ignore others who are not. It is just that mindset I need to fix to avoid thinking about naysayers wasting my time.

Life: Things I learned to get all this

  • If you are born in Canada or other first-world countries, play life like a sporting event. Win the Stanley Cup in your field like Wayne Gretzky.
  • Playing like Wayne Gretzky is so fun and you rise from your own culture or sub-culture freeing you from ego, power and control. Just PLAY!!!
  • “Playing” in your field grows you in all the skills and you are happy and humane. Just PLAY!!!
  • You can avoid feeling limited and avoid being criticized if you are so liberal playing like Wayne Gretzky.
  • Everything falls into place and you live a healthy life playing all the time in your field.
  • Don’t just get a job and professional career for status first, do your dream. After doing your dream you can settle down and get a job and career to earn stable money. It should be easy after because you earned and satisfied your goals and learned specialized skills to handle all the problems below.