Updates (January 12, 2024)

Work: Programming feels better – Programming feels better than drinking pop, better than alcohol, better than all the vitamins and supplements. You get the picture … . It helps you socialize better (after you are done some school and have worked and gained some external goals) and have something to talk about with people. Programming with Starbucks Pike Place coffee goes hand-in-hand.

Programming: Creativity – If you solely focus on creativity in programming then that can go to infinity I think. Making interactive websites and applications and combining different purposes into one (for example: modding and teaching). Therefore, you don’t stagnant and don’t feel all so stern and don’t feel opinionated. All good things if you just be creative mainly.

Health: Relax a bit – I think I have to understand the cyclic nature of programming and accept I am never done. People who judge 100% black and white I can not get along with. I need to have fun and relax too. I need 50% relaxing and 50% working now I think.

Life: When blue just accept the cyclic nature of your life – Ups and downs in life. I grew up in the suburbs of Ajax in the 1990s and early 2000s. I thought I knew what was right and wrong. Now I understand that I should define my life my way which is Vietnamese-Canadian but also add to that being a programmer. After so many interactions with Vietnamese from Vietnam and also here in Canada/West, I realized that I should really focus on thinking and probably more of my programming activities. I feel the more I have a Western pursuit like programming, I feel comfortable talking to people from either here or overseas. Constantly being busy learning and growing helps talk and work with people who are just doings stuff they like and those that try to achieve more. The constant pursuit of knowledge and work is accepted by both parties. I have not talked to Vietnamese-Westerners for like 37 years. I only started in 2021. I am learning that we do exist and have our own quirks and establishments here in the West. I have always felt excluded from living in the Eastern part of the Greater Toronto Area. I was usually the only Vietnamese person in the class. Constantly talking to Vietnamese-Westerns is allowing me to grow and see the world with a solid foundation and view now from our perspective. Now I can grow from it unlike the view of my parents and not from the Vietnamese from overseas. Also it is different from my cousins and family back home in Vietnam. Seriously, the Vietnamese-Western perspective does exist I realize now and we are all trying to grow and figure things out and carve out something. My life is Vietnamese-Canadian with the programming cyclic pattern of always having imposter syndrome being fearful of not knowing enough and feeling good sometimes of building that program or feature. I have the constant feeling of being a foreigner still living out here in Oshawa. Will that subside the more I work and play with Vietnamese-Westerners? Or will the feeling always be there? Especially when I am alone?

Work: Doing things get easier – I always knew this feeling inside. You had to work really hard to get something and maybe, just maybe, if you worked and learned a lot things would get easier. I have worked 20+ jobs and studied 3 things: biology, chemistry and programming. I worked 2 thinking jobs: 1. Pharmacy Technician and 2. Peer-tutor for Practical Nursing. I worked on my craft of making my own software for 3+ years. Now things are easier for me. I have a life now. Not the best but something my own, very much my own. I can always fall back to the other jobs and live. Now that I accept the ups and downs of “a life of a programmer”, I just smile and rejoice and reflect and go on my way. Thinking like a programmer elevated my thinking and mindset. Life as a programmer is up and down and gradually goes uphill. It is an elevated circle, a wave that is always pleasing. That is what no one tells you about programming. It is actually a lifestyle that is great like this. Also being old now and tired of living for others all the time, I am focusing on myself more as I feel so tired and old. Before, I was always giving myself away and serving others and it led to not really growing individualistically. It is important now at my age to satisfy myself and grow. It gets to the point where I have my own life now and I focus on pushing myself and pushing in general the things of my interests, pushing the envelope. Seriously, it gets to the point where I live in my own world. It just took years and years of schooling, working and finally socializing with the general public and Vietnamese-Canadians to grow into my own self and world.

Work: Drive – The feeling of doing something like creating a software product that is serves a purpose and is pretty complete and complex is such a driving force for me. If it is very unique then that is super. I don’t think there is any better feeling that doing something different and serves a purpose used by many people. By first collaborating with Ben, Simon and Dmitry and my brother William and cousin An and An, now I have something I leveled up to. Please collab with a progressive open minded forward pushing team. You could say you can do things on your own but my experience collaborating went really big and wide. For me creating a new tool that teaches scripting and modding in one I think adds to the market something new.

Health: Working on yourself – When I finally started working on myself and zoning out doing the things I love, I became independent minded and grew into “a old wise man”. You are no longer in the jokester group hanging around with the young adults. You elevated doing something different that is mature and worthy of praise from smart and intelligent people who are opinionated on good valuable actions and pursuits. That is the next logical step after hanging around so much with the jokester group of being a young adult. You have taken into consideration of the jokester group and that lifestyle and grew apart from it as it no longer serves a satisfying purpose for you individually. You don’t want to look like an old man hanging around. It is so scary to be an old man with nothing: no education, no skills, and no purpose that serves you and your family.